Naruto of three worlds
by FantaEGott
Summary: Naruto had been sent to Earthland (Fairy Tail) after the war. In Earthland he became "friends" with Natsu Dragneel and Portgas D Ace (One Piece). He's now nineteen years old and his mind has somehow been sent back to his home world but in an alternative universe. He wakes up in Iwa but in a younger version of himself. Parings: NaruHarem, OOC & Grammar warning. Crack fic
1. Chapter 1

This story is about Naruto Uzumaki from my other story 'Three people from three worlds' his mind is somehow sent to an alternative universe where he wakes up as himself but younger. Natsu, Ace and other characters from 'Three people from three worlds' might show up in this story if people wants it.

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 1

* * *

**Introduction**

Uzumaki Naruto nineteen years old and a legend in two worlds, about to become one in a third one as he wakes up in a room he doesn't recognize. He can't remember what happened yesterday and how he ended up here.

This Naruto is a little bit.. different? In his younger days when he grew up doing missions with team 7, training with Jiraiya and even during the war against Akatsuki. He was the happy rash knucklehead ninja but still strong and reliable. (Naruto was exactly the same as in the manga until after the war)

After the war he had changed.. He had also ended up in another world where he travelled with a pirate named Ace and a dragon slayer mage named Natsu. Now what if I told you Naruto was the most responsible one out of the group? He had become a super pervert like Jiraiya and continued on his work 'Icha Icha Paradise' that had quickly become popular in Earthland. He had a short temper but still enjoyed a prank, it was probably the thing he enjoyed the most especially when he would prank Natsu.

Naruto had also taken up one of Ace's qualitys, he had become a heavy drinker and was drunk most of the time. When it comes to his abilities he had improved some as well, he could now use his father's **~Hiraishin no Jutsu~ (Flying Thunder God Technique) **and his different kinds of **~Rasengan~ (Spiralling Sphere) **with one hand. He had also learned some new wind techniques and a few other techniques in the other elements.

In other words Naruto was basically unbeatable to most people.. if it wasn't for his many weaknesses. If a civilian woman could seduce someone like Jiraiya to keep him away while two S-Rank criminals are going after his student. Then let's just say there are many more ways to distract Naruto.

So where was Naruto?

He's in the elemental nations, his home world but in an alternative universe. In this universe he wasn't the only child of Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina, no he had a twin sister that was growing up in Konoha currently alone. The reason for that? Their parents where dead same as before after sacrifing themselves and sealing one half of Kyubi's chakra into both Naruto & Nami. (AN: Named Naruto's twin sister Nami for now, might change it later if I come up with something better)

Other than that difference the world was pretty much the same, but where was Naruto? And what's going to happen now that this older crazy Naruto will take over his body.

**End introduction **(AN: Although this whole chapter is pretty much an introduction)

* * *

Naruto woke up in a room he didn't recognize he didn't think much of it he figured he must have been drunk and then Ace and Natsu dumped him here. When he got out of the bed he had slept in and stood up however he started getting a bit concerned as his body moved in a different way and he felt as if he was shorter. The other thing he noticed was that he had no headache what so ever which he always had after he had been drinking. Naruto then walked to the bathroom and turned on the lights then he saw himself in the mirror.

"WHAT KIND OF SICK JOKE IS THIS!?" He yelled with his jaw dropped "I'm a fucking midget"

Naruto looked younger and he was a lot shorter, what he didn't know was that he was actually thirteen but as tall as when he was fifteen in his earlier life. (160 cm)

He then quickly washed his face and put on the clothes that were next to his bed all of his clothes were orange he noticed. After getting his clothes on he sprinted out the door of the apartment he was staying at and in his mind he kept yelling 'Kurama where are those bastards!?' but he didn't get any answer.

After he had looked around the whole village for the culprits he gave up and instead took a minute to take a look at the place.

'Where am I?' he thought.

Naruto had never seen anything like this in earthland, most of the village was made out of stone and rocks. He then saw someone that looked like a ninja that walked passed him, the ninja had an Iwa headband on him. Naruto figured he would ask this ninja what this place is, so he followed after him and got his attention.

"Excuse me, but could you tell me where I am?"

The Iwa nin looked confused a second and then spoke "Iwakagure.. are you not feeling well, Natsu?"

A dark aura surrounded Naruto "What did you say?"

"I asked if you're not feeling well?

"Not that, what did you call me?"

"Natsu? Since that's your name.. Natsu Scarlet"

By now Naruto had lost it, he bit his thumb drawing out some blood and did a few hand signs and yelled **"~Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Kyubi no Yoko" (Summoning Technique: Nine tailed Demon Fox)**

However nothing happened other than the Iwa ninja looking at him as if he was crazy.

'I better report this to Tsuchikage-sama' he thought and then he said "I have to get going now Natsu, get better okay?" and then jumped off.

'No way, this can't be happening' Naruto thought while he punched the ground and kept mumbling "I'm gonna get you for this pinky"

The reason for that being that Naruto and Natsu actually hate each other, they can't stand to be around each other for a long period of time and always fight and insult each other. Naruto had started it all, he thought Natsu was a bad joke someone had created just to annoy him. He looked almost like the kid he had pictured he would have with Sakura-chan if they ever got married. So when he saw this annoying brat for the first time after ending up in Earthland he hated him.

The fact that Natsu reminded him of his younger self also annoyed him. What annoyed him the most was when Natsu always ended up being surrounded by girls at every bar they visited, he even ended up in a relationship with two hot babes called Erza and Mirajane. The thing with the girls reminded him of Sasuke, and he hated Sasuke and every other Uchiha. The only thing he liked was writing his smut, drinking with Ace and coming up with new prank ideas together with Happy the flying blue cat.

Naruto had stopped punching the ground and now sat down on the street trying to find his scrolls in his pockets.

'I need a drink' he thought

He then sighed as he remembered he didn't have his usual clothes on and ran back to the apartment where had woken up earlier. On the front door he read the name of the owner of the place 'Natsu Scarlet' and once again he started punching the ground this time yelling "Get me out of this nightmare"

His last name being Scarlet didn't make him any happier.. Erza Scarlet was a red haired woman in Fairy Tail, the strongest woman in the guild.

Naruto had started avoiding red heads after the war, he thought they were all crazy. (He did end up in a relationship with Tayuya in Earthland though) The reason for his opinion of red heads was simple. The only ones he had met was Tayuya the foulmouthed woman, Karui the one who beat him up, Karin who he didn't know too well but there was definitely something wrong with her and then his mom, Kushina who was very short tempered.

Erza was the first one he pranked when he joined Fairy Tail and she hated him ever since then. All he had done was pulling down her skirt and then complemented her choice of underwear while he was 'Henged' into Natsu.

Erza had initially thought it was Natsu's doing but had then found Naruto out due to his verbal ticks. (Dattebayo, ttebayo, etc)

He had not only pulled down her skirt in public outside of a bar but after that he had ran off and called her a weak-ass bitch.

That's also something Naruto does often, he always insults women calling them annoying and weak. And he insults everyone and everything by calling them weak-ass losers and he refuses to do 'Shitty work' that is a waste of his time. Basically Naruto is an asshole.

Naruto calmed down and thought 'So I'm in Iwa? My name is Natsu Scarlet… I Look exactly the same as I did when I was fifteen and training with Jiraiya'

He then smashed down the door to his apartment and quickly sealed some food and extra clothes into small sealing scrolls he kept in his shirts pocket. He then found some money and figured he would go buy some new clothes, orange was a nice color but he had to tone it down a bit.

He then left his apartment and found a ninja equipment store and bought a blue jumpsuit that he would later add some orange lines too. After he had changed into his new clothes he ran out off the village gates at high speed heading towards Konoha.

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This is a crack fic.. there will be no serious moments and drama. Please review and tell me your thoughts on it.

Parings: Harem


	2. Chapter 2

Forgot to mention in the first chapter that all chapters will probably be as short as the first two.

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 2

* * *

Naruto had travelled for a few hours and was now jumping the trees near konoha. He was able to travel that fast because he had found out Kurama had been pulling a joke on him, Kurama's mind had been sent back as well. After releasing the seal and Naruto getting control over the fox's chakra once again he was able to enter 'Biju Mode' and that's how he got here so fast. When he was able to see the walls of konoha he stopped and started a conversation with Kurama.

'So what do you think is happening?'

**'I don't know, this is not a genjutsu'**

'I still think this is Natsu & Ace's doing somehow. How else would you explain it, did we time travel?'

**'How should I know?'** Kurama then took a look at Naruto and said **'You're a brat again'**

'Don't remind me..'

**'So let's say we did time travel, and you entered the body of this person called Natsu Scarlet'** this had Naruto slamming his head on the ground which lead to Kurama laughing.

The fox then continued **'As I was saying, if we did time travel, maybe there's the possibility that another you is running around konoha?'**

'Then we'll kill him'

**'What?'**

'I'll kill him, hide his body and then live his life'

Kurama facepawed **'What if he's younger or older than you?'**

'You actually thought I was going to kill him?'

**'It wouldn't surprise me'**

'Well I'll come up with something.. Let's get this over with' Naruto ended the conversation and jumped down from the tree and walked up to the village gates.

Naruto forgot that he was a visitor the the village and just walked straight through the gates but was quickly stopped by the village guards, Izumo and Kotetsu.

"Hold it, who are you and your reason for visiting?" Kotetsu asked

Naruto thought for a second then said "I'm Portgas D Ace and my reason for visiting.. uhm.." he tried to find a reason then he looked towards the hokage monument and saw four faces, no Tsunade.

"I'm here to visit the hokage"

Izumo then checked some papers and said "He has no appointments today, are you here to deliver a mission request?"

Naruto shook his head "No he's a friend of mine"

Both Izumo and Kotetsu had noticed something about the visitor, the three whisker marks on his face, the blond hair and his blue eyes. He looked almost like a male version of Nami Uzumaki their troublemaker Jinchuriki.

Kotetsu then said "We'll inform hokage-sama that you're here, you'll have to wait here for his response"

Naruto nodded "Fair enough"

Kotetsu then ran off towards the Hokage tower.

* * *

_Five minutes later._

Kotetsu returned and said "He doesn't know anyone by the name of Portgas D Ace, sorry you can't meet with him"

Naruto sighed and turned around "Fuck you then" he said and jumped off out in the trees again.

'Well that plan failed'

**'What now?'**

'How about I summon you, then you distract them while I speak to the hokage'

**'Sounds good to me'**

'…'

**'Fine just enter Biju mode and get into his fucking office'**

'Good idea..' Naruto said sounding sarcastic.

'I don't hear you coming up with anything better'

'I'll try one more thing'

Naruto then used the **~Henge no Jutsu~ (Transformation Technique)** and transformed into a well known konoha ninja. Once again he walked up to the gates and this time he was stopped again.

"Who are you?" Kotetsu asked.

"Well thank you for asking!" Naruto yelled then did a little dance and jumped up the air "I'm the seducer of women everywhere, I'm the mighty toad sage hailing from mount myoboku" his head then spinned "Jiraiya" he ended.

Both Izumo and Kotetsu knew who he was before he entered, and judging from the amount of chakra he had they had no reason to think otherwise.

Kotetsu laughed and then said "Well carry on then.."

Naruto grinned 'Weak-ass gate guards can't stop me' he then walked towards the hokage tower and on the way there he saw some of his old friends running around town. He saw Shikamaru, Chouji and Kiba running out of a food stand and this had his jaw dropping. They all looked as if they were thirteen again straight out of the academy, they were even shorter than him!

He shook his head and continued towards the hokage tower, he would get an explanation soon enough. He jumped up the building and looked into the window where the hokage were sitting going through some paperwork. He knocked on the window and spoke "Hey old man"

The hokage turned around and then scowled "Who are you, and why are you impersonating my student?" Hiruzen could easily tell the difference between chakras.

Naruto released the henge and Hiruzen almost had a heart attack.

"What's your name boy?"

"Uzumaki Naruto"

Hiruzen knew this was a possibility, Naruto had after all disappeared the night of the sealing, they thought he had died, but since no body was found he could have been alive somewhere. There wasn't many people who knew that two kids were born on that day either, the only ones who knew who are still alive was himself, Jiraiya and Kakashi.

A surprised Hiruzen then asked "So what is it you want Uzumaki Naruto?"

"I want a fucking explanation to what is going and why I am in this nightmare"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did I wake up in Iwa this morning? And how come no one recognizes me in this village?"

Hiruzen scowled 'Damn you Tsuchikage' he thought then answered "You don't live in this village, why would people recognize you?"

"I don't live here?"

"No"

Naruto then face palmed and mumbled "So I am Natsu Scarlet of Iwa?"

"No you're konoha's Uzumaki Naruto, you belong here" This had Naruto smiling after Hiruzen said that.

"Come sit down, we have a lot to talk about"

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AN: Please review & Thanks for reading


	3. Chapter 3

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 3

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Naruto had just left the hokage's office, he had a lot to think about. Apparently there wasn't another Naruto running around instead he had a twin sister running around. And he wasn't fifteen years old like he first thought, he was thirteen.

Naruto had lied about how he knew he was from Konoha by saying that the fox told him. This had the Hokage curious and he kept asking questions about his interactions with the fox. Naruto told him that they rarely spoke and the reason for the fox telling him he was from Konoha was that he was fed up with the rocks.

The hokage had also asked for some blood to do a blood test which Naruto agreed to then he had given him some money to stay at a hotel over the night. Naruto was ordered to go visit the hokage again early in the morning 6 AM to be exact. Naruto had agreed and that's how their conversation ended. He was now on his way to a place he had missed a lot during his time in Earthland, this was of course Ichiraku Ramen.

On his way there he had decided to cover his hair with his hoody, he didn't want to deal with someone like Kakashi seeing him and asking questions. Once he had arrived he saw there was no customers 'Lucky' he thought and sat down.

"Hello sir, what can I help you with" Ayame asked.

"Ten bowls of miso ramen"

Ayame gasped "Looks like Nami-chan has a new ramen rival"

Naruto mumbled something

"What was that?" Ayame asked.

"Nothing" Naruto answered he didn't want Ayame to hate him, what Naruto mumbled was 'That bitch can't out eat me'

Naruto didn't know he had just called his own sister bitch, Hiruzen hadn't told him her name yet, all he knew was that he had a twin sister.

After Naruto finished his tenth bowl he noticed that he was already full 'I'm out of shape, this is shameful'

'**Maybe the alternative you didn't eat ramen like a manic'**

'True, but I feel tired and shit, we didn't even travel for that long today'

**'Entering ~Biju Mode~ must have had some effect on your body'**

Naruto sighed 'This means I have to train my chakra control to get it back to my usual level. He did have some training I'm pretty sure my current chakra control is higher than that I had when I originally graduated'

**'Yeah.. that's for sure'**

'Shut up'

While Naruto sat there in his food coma talking with Kurama in his mind another person had sat down beside him.

"Three bowls of chicken ramen please Ayame-Neesan!"

Naruto looked to the side of him and saw what must be his twin sister, she had almost the same outfit as he did when he graduated. Orange jumpsuit but with shorter and tighter pants that went down to her knees, other than that it was exactly the same. Her hair was long and tied into twin tails, much like his 'Sexy no Jutsu' in fact she looked almost exactly like his jutsu.

For some reason Naruto didn't like it, his eyes started twitching and he ran off after paying for his ramen.

'So that is my sister, exact copy of me as well, fuck' Naruto thought.

Kurama only laughed in reply and then started singing, which he did a lot. This made Naruto even angrier as he hated his singing. Sometimes the lyrics would be extremely creepy as he sings about how Madara violated him.

Naruto headed to a hotel and booked a room and then went to bed trying to sleep.

_Four hours later._

The people working at the hotel had woken up Naruto and thrown him out as he had destroyed his hotel room in his sleep. Naruto had a bad case of sleep walking or sleep attacking might be a better word. Almost every time he sleeps he destroys part of the room he's in by throwing ~Rasengan's~ at the wall. He spent the rest of the night on top of the hokage tower sleeping since he figured the hokage would notice him and wake him up.

_6 AM_

Naruto was woken up by an Anbu woman wearing a cat mask, she had long purple hair.

"Hokage-sama is waiting for you in his office" she told him

"Hai hai, Yugao-chan" Naruto winked at her and then used a shunshin to appear in the hokage office.

'How did he know my name?' Yugao thought.

Inside the office a barely awake Hiruzen sighed as he looked at Naruto "You have already gotten into trouble?"

"I can't help it"

"Destroying the hotel room in your sleep" Hiruzen shook his head "We'll have to get you your own place, or maybe you can move in with your sister"

"About that, did you get the results of the blood test?" Naruto asked

Hiruzen nodded "Yes, you're no doubt the son of Minato and Kushina and sister of Nami"

"Good, then we can put this Natsu Scarlet thing behind us"

"Did they treat you badly in Iwa? Or why ar.." Hiruzen started to ask but was interrupted by Naruto "No it's the name"  
"Oh?"

"You don't need to hear the reason"

Hiruzen looked confused for a second then sighed "Fine, the graduation exam at the academy is today, I want you to attend it"

"No way" Naruto said.

"What?" Hiruzen asked surprised.

"I am not becoming a genin to do shitty D-Rank missions and having some weak-ass jounin telling me what to do"

"I thought you wanted to become a ninja?" Hiruzen asked.

"I do, give me your hat and position and we'll be done here" Naruto answered.

Hiruzen laughed "Just go take the test kid"

"Fine" Naruto said and got up from the chair and jumped out the window which lead to Hiruzen yelling "Use the door!"

"No, and remember this old man, if you call me a kid one more time I'll have you meet kyubi" Then Naruto took off towards the academy.

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Thanks for reading & Please review


	4. Chapter 4

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 4

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When Naruto had arrived at the academy he saw something that annoyed him. In front of him and waving at him was the Hokage 'That old sack of flesh got here before me, this just proves how out of shape I am' he thought and then asked "Why are you here?"

"I thought I would introduce you, I forgot to tell Iruka and the other teachers about you"

"Stupid old man" Naruto mumbled

"What?"

"Nothing let's get this shit over with" they started walking down the halls in the academy towards the classroom. Suddenly Naruto remembered something important he had been thinking about for some time.

Naruto nudged Hiruzen and said "Old man, I have a favor to ask of you"

"What is it?"

"I want a ton of sake and the whole Icha Icha Paradise collection" Naruto said while staring into the hokage's eyes.

"You're joking right?"

"No, I'll pay you back with my payment from the shitty missions" Naruto answered.

Hiruzen scowled while thinking 'He drinks already and openly admits to being a pervert?' then said "We'll see.. I might get it for you if you behave"

"I'll be on my best behavior! TTEBAYO" Naruto yelled and probably most of the people inside the classroom heard him as they were now outside of the classroom door about to get in.

Hiruzen opened the door and Iruka quickly asked "Hokage-sama, why are you here?"

Now all heads pointed towards the hokage "I have a new student with me that will be taking the graduation exams together with this class, come introduce yourself, kid"

"What did you call me old man?" Iruka and the students heard someone say from outside.

"Just get in and introduce yourself brat!" Hiruzed yelled and then dragged him inside. Everyone in the room quickly noticed his similarity to Nami, who was this person who called the Hokage an old man?

"You forgot what I told you earlier?" Naruto said still staring at the hokage ignoring the others.

"I will leave now" Hiruzen said and before he left he added "Iruka, if he gives you any trouble please tell me as he has promised to be on his best behavior"

"Understood Hokage-sama" Iruka said then he focused on Naruto "Welcome, can you do a quick introduction then take a seat"

Naruto got into the front of the classroom so everyone could see him "Yo, I'm Uzumaki Naruto brother of Uzumaki Nami.. " He got interrupted by Nami yelling "What!?"

"As I was saying, the brother of that brat over there" He said pointing towards Nami this leads to everyone laughing "Why are you laughing, you're all brats!"

"Hey, you don't look that much older than us! How old are you anyway?!" Haruno Sakura screamed.

"I'm thirteen" Naruto answered then he got depressed and hung his head "So technically, I'm a brat as well"

"If you're Nami's brother, where have you been all this time? I've never heard that Nami had a brother" Nara Shikamaru asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know" Naruto answered.

"Are you really my Onii-chan?" All Naruto heard was 'Onii-chan' and he reacted weird to it, his hands kept going towards his pocket to fetch something but at the same time he tried to hold the hand back. In the end the hand won and he took out a notebook at started scribbling down on it while giggling like a girl.

Iruka sweatdropped and said "I think that's enough, why don't you sit down next to your sister"

Naruto nodded and did just that, On Nami's right sat another small blonde haired brat 'Is that Ino?' he thought then sat down next to Nami on her left 'I'm happy Ace isn't here to see this'. As soon as he sat down his head fell down on the bench and he started snoring. Everyone in the room had the same thought 'What is his problem?'

_An hour later_

Naruto was having a really nice dream, he was surrounded by younger beautiful women, they were older than the brats in the classroom though. They all called him 'Onii-chan' and wanted to do nasty things with him, he kept hearing 'Onii-chan.. Onii-chan..' the he was woken up by someone slapping him the back of his head "Onii-chan the exam is starting"

"The hell did you do that for stupid brat" Naruto said and tried to sleep once again.

"NARUTO WAKE UP!" he heard Iruka scream and jumped right up "Yes sir!" Naruto said remembering how scary Iruka could be.

After the exams where done he had easily passed and gotten a head band, he did notice that one more thing was the same as before, Nami didn't pass. This mean that she would most likely pass in the same way he did when he graduated, when Mizuki had him steal the scroll of forbidden seals. Naruto figured he would avoid Nami and instead watch from afar and maybe step in if it got out of hand.

Just as Naruto thought he saw Nami alone at the swing sulking while Mizuki started talking to her. Naruto then followed Nami the rest of the day and now she had finally taken the scroll and started working on the **'~Kage Bunshin~**' technique.

He observed the whole fight, everything happened the same as it did when it was him down there. There was one difference though, Mizuki kept calling Nami demon whore, which made Naruto angry and he thought 'Is this normal with the villagers as well?'

When Naruto saw Nami beat Mizuki to a pulp with the help of hundreds of clones he decided to leave and let Nami and Iruka have their moment. He decided to go visit his latest annoyance the old man hokage.

As Naruto sneaked into Hiruzen's office he saw him watching the scenes of Iruka congratulating Nami on graduating and giving her his head band.

"Spying on little girls are we, old man?" Naruto said which startled Hiruzen "Oh it's you, I could ask you the same thing"

"I'm her twin brother, you're an old pervert!"

"I'm her grandpa, and you basically admitted to being a pervert earlier today!"

Naruto snorted "Whatever.. I've decided I'm going to live with the brat"

"With Nami-chan?" Hiruzen asked

"Obviously"

Hiruzen looked as if he was thinking for a moment then said "That is fine, however her apartment is pretty small, we'll have to get a new one for you both"

"I'm used to sleeping in trees and such so sleeping on the couch for a few days or weeks is no problem" Naruto said.

"You sleep in trees?"

"Yeah no one bothers me there"

Hiruzen sighed "You're one weird kid" After he said that he dodged a kunai Naruto had thrown "Hey! I could have you arrested for that"

"Stop calling me kid then" Naruto yelled then he smiled and said "Did you get what I asked?"

Hiruzen took out a box he kept behind his desk and gave it to Naruto "Here.. I don't want to see you drinking around Nami-chan"

"No problem old fart" Naruto said then he jumped out of the window heading towards Nami's apartment.

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Thanks for reading & Please Review


	5. Chapter 5

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 5

* * *

Naruto was waiting outside of Nami's apartment, she lived in the same apartment he did back in his world. When Nami finally showed up after two hours he noticed she must have been crying a lot recently judging by how red her eyes was or maybe she was just really tired. Nami noticed Naruto and raised an eyebrow "What are you doing here?"

"Yo" Naruto greeted then said "I'll be living with you starting today"

Nami scowled "No thanks"

"What, why?"

"I have lived on my own for most of my life I can handle myself"

'This brat..' Naruto thought 'How do I get her to change her mind.. wait a minute if she's like me, then this will probably work'

"If you let me live with you I'll buy you ramen every day and train you to become a super strong ninja dattebayo!"

Nami sprinted towards Naruto and hugged him "Onii-chan of course you can live with me ttebane"

Naruto's eyes started twitching 'This brat..' when Nami let go and opened the door Naruto asked "So what have you been up to for the last two hours?"

Nami looked a bit sad and said "I spoke with jiji, he explained a few things"

"Oh about the fox?" Naruto asked.

"How did you know!?" Nami asked surprised.

"I have the fox sealed in me as well, we probably have one half each.." Naruto continued

"Right jiji did mention something about that earlier"

"You shouldn't feel bad about having the idiot fox sealed inside of you, he's the best pet there is"

"What you have spoken to it?"

They were now sitting down on the couch. Naruto said with a bored tone "Yeah want to meet him?"

"Are you crazy?" Nami yelled.

"Stop yelling brat!" Naruto yelled back.

"Why do you keep calling me brat, we're twins!"

"You're getting off topic, do you want to meet the fuzz ball or not?"

"How?"

"Easy" Naruto said then stood up and bit his thumb to draw out some blood then did a few handsigns **"~Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Chibi Kyubi no Yoko" (Summoning Technique: Mini Nine tailed Demon Fox)**

After the smoke cleared out Nami was staring at a small orange fox about the size of a normal cat.

"That's kyubi?" Nami asked disbelievingly

Naruto nodded "Introduce yourself"

The fox jumped up the air and bit Naruto's nose "**Stop referring to me as your pet, damnit!"**

"Did you just bite me?" Naruto yelled.

**"What are you going to do about it brat!" Kurama yelled back.**

"There is no seal protecting you from me, remember that"

**"Okay okay, sorry I will introduce myself"** Kurama then jumped up the couch **"Yo! I'm Kurama, the strongest of the nine biju"**

"You're kyubi?" Nami asked disbelievingly

"Yeah got a problem with that, brat?" Kurama answered.

"So he's the reason you're calling everyone brats?" Nami asked staring at Naruto.

"Not really, no" Naruto answered then Kurama disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Naruto then said "I think you should not act the same with your half of the kyubi, most like he'll hate humans and try to take over your body at first chance"

"What? Why isn't the Kyubi sealed in me a small cute fox like yours?" Nami asked.

"My half is not a small cute fox either.. We just found a way to summon him in that form, it's really helpful while indoors" Naruto answered.

Nami nodded then asked "How do I get the kyubi to act friendly with me, like yours do?"

Naruto thought for a few seconds then said "Well when you speak to him.. bring some sake, ask for stories of Madara and don't complain about his singing"

"Uhh, Are you serious?"

"Yeah, anyway there is one more thing I thought you should know"

"Yes?"

"Our parents are Namikaze Minato the fourth hokage and Uzumaki Kushina they are good people"

"What!?" Nami yelled "Are you saying our father sealed that idiot fox into us? It's his fault I'm being treated like this" After Nami said that she started crying.

"He had no choice" Naruto started and sat down next to Nami trying to console her "I'm thankful to him, and about the way you've been treated, I know of it.. I have experienced the same" Nami then hugged Naruto and he let her cry for a few minutes

"You won't be treated the same starting tomorrow, I'll make sure of it" Naruto then noticed that Nami had fallen asleep so he carried her to her bed and let her sleep.

Naruto walked back to the living room and opened the box he had gotten from the hokage earlier. In it he found the whole collection of Icha Icha Paradise and a few sake bottles. He smiled and started drinking some of the sake while reading the first edition of Icha Icha on the couch.

* * *

_The next morning_

Naruto woke up and as soon as he opened his eyes he got annoyed, right in front of him was his twin sister staring at him.

"What are you staring at brat?" Naruto asked

Nami blushed and got out of Naruto's face "I was going to wake you up Onii-chan"

Naruto hands once again reacted on their own and found his notebook 'No damnit, can't use my sister for inspiration' Naruto thought before putting it back.

'I can't deal with this brat today I need to do some training' Naruto thought while he put his clothes on then he yelled "Brat! I have some stuff I need to do, I'll see you tonight" then he used a shunshin to appear on training ground 7.

Naruto then had five hundred clones training in various chakra control exercises the whole day, when it started getting dark around 10 PM he walked back to the village.

When he walked down the street heading towards the Ichiraku Ramen bar he saw a beautiful woman with long black hair and big red eyes. This was Kurenai Yuhi the future jounin sensei of Team 8 (She's wearing her standard outfit) Naruto checked her out and thought 'I look fifteen almost sixteen.. I might have a shot'

While he stood there checking Kurenai out he didn't notice the person that had sneaked up on him and had put an arm on his shoulder and asked "Oh checking out Nai-chan are we, kid?"

This was the snake summoner and Orochimaru's former student Mitarashi Anko (She's also wearing the same outfit, trench coat etc)

"Yeah?" Naruto asked.

"You're new around here aren't you?" Anko asked.

"In a way.."

Anko clenched hand to get a stronger hold on his shoulder "So you don't know what we do with perverts, Nai-chan over there is the biggest pervert hater in the village"

"Woman, get your fucking hand of my shoulder"

Anko grinned "Are you asking for a fight kid?" Anko had then taken her hand of his shoulder and stood infront of him.

"I should be asking you that, weak-ass woman"

"You're asking for it kid!" Anko glared at him and took out a kunai meanwhile Naruto did the same, but a special kind of kunai with a seal on it.

Naruto they threw the kunai's at the same time towards each other and both easily dodged them, however Naruto quickly used **~Hiraishin no Jutsu~ (Flying Thunder God Technique)** and appeared midair just above Anko's head. He then held a kunai to her throat saying "Didn't see that coming did you woman?"

This angered Anko further and she refused to be beaten by just that she then asked "What is your name kid?"

"Don't call me kid"

"What's your name?"

"Uzumaki Naruto"

This surprised Anko "Any relations to Uzumaki Nami?"

Naruto nodded "Yeah she's my sister"

"What, seriously?" Anko had never heard of Nami having a brother, where has he been for the past thirteen years?

"Yes"

"Could you remove the kunai?" Anko asked.

"Yes, but on one condition" Naruto answered.

"What condition?" Anko asked.

"You and I go get a drink together" Naruto grinned.

"Does the kid want a date with Anko-chan?" Anko teased.

"That is correct, woman"

Two hours later, Anko's apartment

"Yes, Yes faster, fuck me harder" Anko screamed while Naruto fucked her doggystyle in her bed.

"Say my name bitch" Naruto said while he pounded her harder.

"Naruto! fuck me Naruto!"

'She won't be calling me kid after tonight' Naruto grinned.

* * *

**The second woman Naruto is going to sleep with will show up in the next chapter, hint she's already been introduced in the story.**

**Thanks for reading & Please Review**


	6. Chapter 6

**Responding to reviews:**

Volos: I'm happy that you think that :) Thanks for reviewing.

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 6

* * *

_The next morning_

After both Naruto and Anko had woken up Naruto had quickly left after promising to come back for round two tonight. Naruto have just gotten back to his and his sisters apartment and as soon as he entered he saw Nami staring at him.

"Where have you been?" Nami asked

Naruto shrugged "I fell asleep on the training ground, get used to it"

When Naruto walked pass Nami she held her nose "You stink! Take a shower!" she yelled.

"What have I told you about yelling brat!? I was on my way to take a shower" Naruto said while he got a towel and then got into the bathroom.

When Naruto was done showering he got out of the bathroom with only a towel covering him and walked to the kitchen. In the kitchen he saw Nami eating instant ramen for breakfast and saw that she had prepared a cup for him as well.

Sitting down at the table from across her he started eating his ramen when Nami asked "What is that on your neck?" referring to one of the many hickey's he had gotten from Anko.

Naruto sighed "Just some bug marks, don't worry about it"

After they had finished breakfast and Naruto had put his clothes on he nudged Nami "So are you ready for some training, brat?"

Nami smiled "You bet, ttebane!"

Naruto's eyes twitched "Good, let's get going then" he said then held her while he used a shunshin to get to training grounds seven.

"Cool, can you teach me that!?" Nami asked.

"Not yet, anyway this is your first lesson" Naruto said and created a shadow clone.

The clone then used **~Henge no Jutsu~** to transform into a man that was a bit taller than Naruto with pink pointy hair and weird clothes.

Nami just looked confused staring at the clone, why did he henge into that guy, she wondered.

Naruto himself could barely hold himself from attacking the clone himself just by seeing Natsu's face.

"That guy that my clone just henge'd into is a very bad man" Naruto started.

"Oh?"

"Yes if you ever see him I want you to stay away from him, if that's not possible I want you to kill him"

"What? Is he a criminal or something?" Nami asked.

"He is worse than a criminal, he is Natsu Dragneel" Naruto spat

"Who?"

"Pinky" Naruto growled then he shook his head "Anyway your training today will be to locate this clone and then dispel it by any means necessary" The clone then jumped away into the trees hiding while Nami nodded.

"Okay, start!" Naruto yelled and Nami ran off trying to find the 'Natsu' clone.

Naruto had a plan by having the clone transformed into Natsu, he would have the clone annoy Nami and get her to hate him. If by any chance Natsu would show up in this nightmare as well he would be ready and have some back up and get rid of him once and for all. If it wasn't for that damn drunken excuse of a pirate, Ace, Naruto would have nothing to do with Natsu.

When it started getting dark out Naruto called it a day, it seemed like his plan was starting to work as Nami asked "Why are your clone so rude and disgusting!?"

"I had the clone copy the personality of the person it henge'd into" Naruto explained.

Nami nodded "Now I see why you hate him, he's disgusting"

Naruto smiled "I think we're going to get along just fine, imouto" he said while he patted her head. After Naruto said that Nami hugged him "That's the first time you didn't call me brat, Onii-chan"

"Don't get used to it brat"

Nami sweatdropped while thinking 'So I'm back to brat' then she wondered 'Did he call me imouto just because I insulted his clone?'

"Why do you hate that pink haired bastard, Onii-chan?"

"Well imouto, that is a story for another time"

'Seriously!?' Nami thought "I see, Onii-chan"

"Well let's head back brat" Naruto said and shunshined back to their apartment then he walked to the door "I have some place to be, don't wait up" and disappeared in another shunshin.

"What!? Where are you going this late at night!?" Nami yelled.

* * *

_At Anko's apartment_

"What took you so long?" Anko asked.

"I was training with my sister" Naruto answered.

"I see, well let's not waste any more time" Anko said and then kissed Naruto while he was thinking 'Maybe this isn't such a bad nightmare after all'

_Three days later, Anko's apartment_

It's a new day the sun is going up and Naruto and Anko is currenly sleeping in her bed that they've occupied for the last three days. Nami had gotten worried and asked the Hokage to find Naruto and that is why a certain Neko masked Anbu is outside of Anko's apartment knocking on the door.

Naruto being the first one to wake up walked up with dizzy eyes and opened the door "What?" he asked.

"Uzumaki Naruto, Hokage-sama want's to meet with you" Yugao said.

"Tell him I'm busy"

"Your sister has been looking for you as well"

"Tell her to fuck off"

"Are you going to disobey the hokage's order?"

"Yes"

"Then I'll have to bring you to him with force if I have too" Yugao said.

"Bring it on"

_Four days later, Anko's apartment._

"Good morning ladies" Naruto said to the two women currently sleeping on his chest.

"Good morning Foxy" Anko said

"Morning Naruto-kun" Yugao said.

"So I've been thinking about something.. I think there is something I've forgotten about"

"Your meeting with hokage-sama?" Yugao asked.

"Not that.. I think there is some place I had to be today"

"There is the team placements for the new genin today at the academy.." Yugao said.

"Oh fuck, that's it"

"It started ten minutes ago, if you hurry you can still make it"

"Yeah, I'll catch up with you two later!" Naruto said and then put on his clothes heading towards the academy.

* * *

AN: Should I have Natsu and Ace show up at the team placements and have them become his team mates?

Thanks for reading & Please Review


	7. Chapter 7

**Responding to Reviews:**

RL's Springtime of Youth: I decided not to add them :).

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 7

* * *

At the academy

When Naruto had arrived at the academy and entered the classroom he got very angry at what he saw. In one of the rows Uchiha Sasuke was laying on top of Nami with one of his hands on her chest.

The reason for this is because earlier Nami had gotten into an argument with Sakura, Ino and some other of Sasuke's fangirls. In the end Sakura had pushed Nami and she flew backwards towards Sasuke and they fell down in this position.

Naruto flew over to them at a high speed and a dark aura surrounding him, all the students including Iruka had trouble breathing due to the killing intent he radiated.

He grabbed Sasuke by the collar of his shirt and yelled "Uchiha Sasuke why are you molesting my sister!?"

"It was an accident!" Sasuke answered fearing for his life.

"Calm down Naruto, I'm sure Sasuke has an explanation" Iruka said.

"Calm down!? Don't fuck with me teach" Naruto yelled.

Meanwhile Nami had recovered and was currently laughing her ass off watching Naruto threaten Sasuke and even Iruka.

"Show me some respect, I'm your teacher"

"I'll deal with you later weak-ass chuunin, now Sasuke give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right here"

The Hokage arrived after having felt Naruto's chakra spikes and the killing intent "What's going on here?"

Naruto lifted Sasuke and threw him towards the Hokage "He molested my sister" Naruto yelled.

"WHAT!? Is this true, Nami-chan?" The Hokage was furious.

"Stop it!" Sakura yelled "It was my fault, I pushed Nami onto Sasuke-kun and they fell down in that position"

"PINKY!" Naruto roared 'Wait a minute that's not him' he thought before asking "Never mind.. is this true imouto?"

Nami stopped laughing "Yeah but you should still stick it to him, he deserves it"

Naruto then calmed down and sighed "I see" then walked up to the Hokage holding a crying Sasuke "Consider yourself lucky, Uchiha.. If I ever see you do anything like that again.. Let's just say your chances of rebuilding your clan will be nonexistent"

Sasuke nodded "I am sorry, but it wasn't my fault"

"HUH?" Naruto glared at him.

"I'm sorry, won't happen again"

"Good now go back to your seat"

The hokage watched the whole thing with slight amusement, with Naruto around no one was going to treat Nami badly and getting away with it.

"I understand your anger Naruto, but don't you think you overreacted a little?" Hiruzen asked.

"Overreacted? I hate Uchiha's and seeing one molesting my sister.. If it had been you, you would have done the same"

Hiruzen nodded "True, well I'll head back now, try not to cause any more trouble"

"Whatever old man"

With the Hokage leaving the students and the teacher stared at Naruto with fear "What?" he yelled.

Iruka cleared his thorat "Uhm, take a seat Naruto"

Naruto glared at some civilian kids that had occupied a row of three seats. He told them to fuck off and get new seats. Naruto then told Nami to come over and then picked up Shikamaru and put him next to her while he sat on her other side.

"Why me?" Shikamaru asked.

"I have no problem with my sister sitting next to you, in fact you should start dating.."

"What the fuck!?" Nami yelled.

"Troublesome.."

"QUIET!" Iruka yelled then continued "After that little show courtesy of the Uzumaki siblings and Sasuke let me introduce the teams"

"Team 1.."

Skipping to team 7..

"Team 7, Uzumaki Nami, Haruno Sakura" Iruka got interrupted by two yells of "Nooo!" then he continued "And Uchiha Sasuke, your jounin sensei is Hatake Kakashi"

"That won't be happening" Naruto said.

"If you have a problem with it, take it up with Hokage-sama" Iruka answered.

"I will do that"

Iruka sighed "Moving on.. Team 8, Inuzuka Kiba, Aburama Shino and Hyuuga Hinata your jounin sensei is Kurenai Yuhi"

"Lucky bastards"

"Stop interrupting me Naruto!"

"Hai hai.."

"Team 9 is still in action so moving on to Team 10, Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Chouji and Yamanaka Ino, your jounin sensei is Sarutobi Asuma.. That's it for the teams, please wait here for your jounin sensei to pick you up"

"What about me!?" Naruto asked

"Right.. due to some circumstances you won't be put on any team, instead you will do missions on your own, without a teacher"

"Sweet"

All of the students except for Nami and maybe Shikamaru felt relief after hearing that.

"You will also be doing missions together with other passing teams from time to time" Now instead of relief they were all praying to some god that they would not have to do missions with Naruto.

Naruto snorted "We'll see about that"

"That is all, before I leave I just want to tell you I am proud of you all and good luck" Iruka said and left the classroom.

Naruto then took a look at the confused Shikamaru and Nami next to him "So have you made any plans for your marriage yet?"

"Troublesome.."

Nami punched Naruto in the face and said "I am not going to marry Shikamaru damnit!"

"We'll see about that.."

"Troublesome.."

"Why are you still here anyway?" Nami asked.

"I am waiting for Kurenai Yuhi"

"Who?"

"That was the name of Team 8's sensei right?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yes, she's smoking hot"

"Troublesome.."

Nami threw Naruto out of the classroom "You have a lot to explain when we get home, where have you been for a week!?"

"None of your business brat" Naruto said and used a shunshin to get to the hokage tower.

He saw Yugao in her anbu gear inside the hokage's office and greeted her "Hello Yugao-chan"

"Hi Naruto-kun"

"You two know each other?" Hiruzen asked.

"Yeah we definitely know each other" Naruto said with a perverted laugh while Yugao giggled.

This got Hiruzen interested "How?"

Yugao cleared her throat "That is unimportant, why are you here Naruto-kun?"

"Well I wasn't placed on a team so I was going to ask about that.."

"Right, you will be working as a one man team, the reason for this is I think we all know you are already far stronger than the rest of your peers" Hiruzen explained.

"Yeah" Naruto agreed then he got angry "I have a problem with team 7 though"

"Is this about Sasuke?" Hiruzen asked.

"Yes.. I won't allow it"

"You want me to change the teams?"

"Yes, switch him with Shikamaru"

"Shikamaru, why?"

"Shikamaru is a lazy bastard and he won't try anything with my sister.. I trust him to look out for her as well"

Hiruzen thought it over for a minute then he said "Sorry Naruto, can't change the teams now, however I will let you join team 7 during their missions.. That way you can look after her yourself"

"Come on.." Naruto whined.

"What?" Hiruzen asked confused, why wasn't he happy with that?

"Do you think I'm some kind of babysitter!? No that is Shikamaru's role, do as I say you rotting old fool!"

"Enough!" Hiruzen yelled "My decision is final"

"You can expect some payback for this old man" Naruto said and jumped out of the window meanwhile Hiruzen shivered imagining the things Naruto would do to him.

* * *

Thanks for reading & Please Review


	8. Chapter 8

Responding to Reviews:

daniel 29: Don't worry Shikamaru x Nami isn't a finalized paring or anything.

RL's Springtime of Youth: I laughed my ass off to your review :P

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 8

* * *

_A week later_

Naruto had been thinking of ways to prank the old man but didn't come up with anything good enough, he had a reputation as a prank master after all. But today the answer had walked straight up to him, the answer being a short brown haired kid. This kid had met him earlier this week and started following him around and calling him boss, this was of course Konohamaru.

"Hey boss!" Konohamaru greeted.

"Hello brat"

"Where is Nee-chan today?" He asked referring to Nami.

"Probably of somewhere playing ninja"

"You mean out on missions?" Konohamaru asked.

"You can hardly call it missions.. anyway Konohamaru I've been thinking and I've decided that you are going to become my third apprentice" (AN: Naruto considers Natsu and Ace to be his apprentices)

"Really!? Yey!" Konohamaru cheered.

"However.. You must first pass my test"

"I'll do it! What is it!?"

"You are to infiltrate the Uchiha compound and replace all of Sasuke's underwear with women's underwear.. in other words panties. Then you are going to empty his juice bottles and fill it up with this" He explained and held up a sake bottle.

"I don't know.. that seems risky"

"You have one month, don't bother me until you have successfully finished your task"

"Got it boss!" Konohamaru yelled and ran off.

'Kukuku' Naruto laughed while thinking 'Don't fuck with me old man'

Naruto's plan was to corrupt Konohamaru, make him a mini Naruto and have him go around pranking people he didn't like, starting with Sasuke.

* * *

_Three weeks later_

Naruto had been called to the hokage tower, during the last month Naruto had not been up to much. Anko and Yugao had been busy so he couldn't spend the nights with them. Other than training Nami on the days after her missions he hadn't done anything at all except reading Icha Icha and drinking sake.

Nami had improved a lot, her current level would be somewhere close to what Naruto was after the chuunin exams. Naruto had trained her in chakra control and tactics, no ninjutsu yet except combinations with basic jutsu and shadow clones.

Now he had arrived at the hokage's office and what he saw when he got there immediately annoyed him.

"What is it old man?" Naruto asked.

"Show Hokage-sama some respect!" Sakura screeched.

"Shut up Pinky!" Nami yelled.

"Someone please kill me or at least get the brats to shut up" Naruto whined.

This got Kakashi laughing as he looked up from his own Icha Icha and took a look at Naruto "So you are Naruto?"

"Yeah?" Naruto answered and when Kakashi didn't say anything else he sweatdropped. Naruto then saw Sasuke behind Kakashi acting weird, when he took a closer look he saw something that had him laughing on the floor.

"What's so funny?" Hiruzen asked.

Naruto just pointed towards Sasuke and now everyone was staring at him. Sasuke was obviously drunk as he was smiling and had trouble to stay on his feet, Kakashi of course had to help him. But what had Naruto laughing was that Sasuke had a small T-Shirt on him and you could see that he was wearing thongs. Soon enough everyone in the room was laughing at him and Sasuke just stood there with a dumb smile.

"I see Konohamaru passed my test" Naruto mumbled.

'I know what you're up to' Hiruzen thought.

"Anyway, the reason I called you here Naruto .. Team 7 here is going on a C-Rank mission and I figured you would want to go with them" Hiruzen explained.

'Must be the wave mission, this will be fun' Naruto thought "Yes, I'll go with them"

"What why is he going with us!?" Sakura complained

"Will you ever shut up!?" Nami yelled at her.

"Nami, behave" Naruto scolded.

"I'm sorry Onii-chan.."

'What the fuck' Hiruzen thought 'How did he get her to behave just like that!? And he is the one that needs to behave, this brat!'

"Anyway here is your client"

In came an old man that was reeking of alcohol he insulted them by calling them brats, but they just ignored it as they were getting used to it.

"Meet at the north gate in 2 hours!" Kakashi said and used a shunshin to leave the office.

When Kakashi was gone Naruto asked Nami "So tell me about your missions with your team, has the Uchiha done anything to you?"

"We're just doing chores basically.. and no Sasuke is afraid to speak to me after what you did to him.."

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"No I'm happy actually"

"Good, let's get going" he grabbed her and shunshined back to their apartment.

When they got to their apartment Nami packed some ninja gear and food while Naruto grabbed his three scrolls that had Sake, Icha Icha and Ramen sealed into them.

"We have another hour until we meet up with your team. So you have time to go grab a bite with Shikamaru or something" Naruto said

"Baka!" Nami yelled and smacked him in the head.

"What's wrong with Shikamaru?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing.." Nami blushed "I like someone else"

"Who?"

"It's a secret"

Naruto shrugged "I'll find out sooner or later"

"And I'm not giving up on Shikamaru and you either"

"Idiot!"

* * *

_One hour later at the north gate_

Team 7, Naruto and Tazuna has just gotten out of the village, Nami, Sakura and Sasuke walked in front of Kakashi and Tazuna and Naruto behind him. The reason for this being both of them drinking sake and talking with each other.

Then out of nowhere Naruto said "I can't wait to meet Tsunami again, if I remember correctly she's one fine woman"

"What did you say brat!?" Tazuna yelled while the other looked confused

"Did I say that out loud?"

* * *

Thanks for reading & Please Review


	9. Chapter 9

Responding to Reviews:

daniel 29: haha, maybe..

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 9

* * *

_Three hours later_

The group was walking at a slow pace towards their destination. Tazuna had been avoiding Naruto ever since he mentioned Tsunami, this did not bother Naruto at all. Naruto had been drinking nonstop stop after they walked out of the gates and he was currently very drunk.

Naruto is a lightweight when it comes to drinking at least if you compare him to Ace or Natsu who can drink as much as they want without passing out.

Naruto was getting weird looks from the other ninjas as he stumbled forward behind them and mumbling about stuff they didn't understand.

"Let me tell *hic* you Ace" He started..

"Who is Ace?" Nami asked.

Naruto laughed "Lucy *hic* surely you know who *hic* Ace is by now?"

"Lucy?" Everyone asked confused.

Naruto then stared at Tazuna "Ace where *hic* is that *hic* pink haired idiot anyway?"

"Hey!" Sakura screamed.

"There you are Natsu" Naruto looked at her then he looked confused "Where is your women?"

"What is wrong with him!?" Sakura yelled.

Nami shook her heard "I don't know.. he gets like this sometimes"

Naruto then started channeling chakra to his right hand preparing a **~Rasengan~** and then charged Sakura "Heads up Pinky!" he yelled but was then thrown into a tree by some weird orange chakra that had appeared out of nowhere.

**'For fucks sake, that is little girl not Natsu!'** Kurama yelled.

'Right..' Naruto responded not believing him at all.

**'If I remember correctly you were in love with this girl'** Kurama continued.

Naruto then walked up to a scared Sakura and looked at her closely 'Sakura-chan? Shit..'

"Sorry about that" Naruto said and then kept walking but he put away his sake and instead brought out an Icha Icha book and started reading it.

Kakashi was considering telling Naruto not to attack his students but he didn't want Naruto to start hating him as well, he had heard the rumors about him. The reason Kakashi wasn't staring at Naruto with his jaw dropped and mumbling "You know the rasengan?" was because Naruto didn't actually form a Rasengan earlier. It looked more like he had channeled a small amount of chakra that kept disappearing as he charged her.

Naruto was currently very drunk and when he's very drunk he sometimes let Kurama take over his body, this had lead to some funny situations with Kurama and Ace.

Kakashi did however take notice of the orange chakra and figured he would report it to the hokage when they came back to the village.

* * *

_Thirty minutes later_

The group had just passed a small puddle of water which team 7 and Tazuna didn't think much of with the exception of Kakashi. Naruto however was having different thoughts as he said

"I need to piss, you guys move on without me" The others looked at him oddly while he turned around and pulled down his pants and starting peeing into the puddle.

"Your brother is a freak Nami" Sakura said

Nami hung her heard "I know"

Kakashi however interrupted them "No actually I think he has figured something out"

They looked confused for a moment before two ninjas came out from the puddle yelling at Naruto

"You pissed on us you bastard"

"We'll kill you for this!" and charged him.

"Fuck is this!?" Naruto yelled and used a shunshin to hide in a tree.

Kakashi just sweatdropped "Or maybe he is a freak" he said but was then charged by one of the missing ninjas who cut him in half.. Well either that or he used a substitution and was now sitting next to Naruto reading Icha Icha.

"What is you deal?" Kakashi asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Did you know about the genjutsu?"

"Uhh, maybe?"

"Why are you hiding up here, you should defend the bridge builder"

Naruto just stared at Kakashi like he was an idiot "I just took a piss on them.."

"Oh that's why" Kakashi nodded.

Nami and Sasuke had easily taken care of the two missing nins with a little help of Kakashi at the end. This lead to Kakashi questioning the bridge builder as it was obvious he was their target. It turned out someone named Gato had taken control of wave country and ordered his death. The group had decided to move on with mission even though it had been upgraded to atleast B-Rank by now.

Naruto was walking next to Nami and he had sobered up a little "Brat, do you have any friends?" He asked her.

"Yes, why?"

"Who are they?"

"Well Shikamaru, Chouji and Kiba are good friends"

"Only guys?"

"Yes I get along better with them.." Nami hung her head.

Naruto didn't like this at all "When you are with them, what are you guys doing?"

"What?"

"Answer the question brat"

"With Kiba.. he normally joins me when I'm eating at Ichiraku Ramen and treats me to all kinds of good food" This had Naruto raising an eyebrow

'Kiba huh?' he thought and wrote his name down in his notebook.

"And the others?"

"I used to play with Shikamaru and Chouji for a while.. However Shikamaru has changed the last month"

"How so?"

"He's calling me Nami-hime and keep asking if I need anything, it's really annoying" Nami whined.

Naruto nodded "Yes a perfect gentleman"

Nami glared at Naruto "This is your fault"

"My fault? How?"

"He's obviously scared of you and wants to make sure you don't bother him" Nami said.

"I see.." Naruto said and wrote down Shikamaru's name to the paper then created a shadow clone.

"You know what to do"

"Hai" the clone took off and when it was out of their eye sight it used **~Hiraishin no Jutsu~** to teleport to Konohamaru and give him his next missions.

'I'm such a thoughtful brother' Naruto thought

Nami then said something that Naruto didn't see coming "You keep asking me about my relationships but what about you?"

Naruto's eyes twitched "What about me?"

"Do you have anyone you like or a girlfriend? Or any friends at all?"

"I have plenty of friends, you just haven't met any of them and never will, you remember the pink haired pervert right?"

Nami nodded and Naruto continued "Yeah he's kind of like a friend"

"Any girls you're interested in?"

"Girls..? No listen here brat.." Naruto said and leaned in on Nami "I'm interested in women, hot sexy big breasted women" He said and grabbed two imaginary boobs with his hands.

"Pervert!" Nami yelled and punched Naruto so hard that he flew back into a tree.

'Well I'll be damned' Naruto thought 'She had a backbone after all'

* * *

Thanks for reading & Please Review


	10. Chapter 10

Repsonding to Reviews:

**Tetrislame**: Thanks and sorry no interaction between Naruto and Haku :p.

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 10

* * *

_Two hours later_

Team 7 was resting after having fought Zabuza the the former demon of the hidden mist village. They had barely managed to win the fight with teamwork from Nami and Sasuke to free Kakashi from a water prison technique Zabuza had used on him. Zabuza barely hanging on in the fight against Kakashi afterwards and he was then attacked by a hunter nin from mist village throwing a senbon into his neck and he was assumed dead.

Now after the fight team 7 are feeling mostly tired but also angry as a certain ninja of their group had disappeared twenty minutes before Zabuza showed up. Naruto had remembered it was somewhere around this area Zabuza would attack them, so he decided he would jump into the tree's and hide while he watched the fight. Naruto then laughed his ass off watching the fight off in his words, weakass wannabe ninjas.

Naruto then decided to tease them a little as he materialized from the ground behind them and yelled "DIE KONOHA NINJAS"

Sasuke, Nami and Sakura were all surprised as they jumped up the air and threw a kunai each towards him that he easily deflected.

Naruto laughed "Oh sorry did I scare ya?" he asked then fell down to the ground laughing.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Sakura yelled.

"Onii-chan.." Nami slowly walked up to him but Naruto knew by now what was coming as he quickly used a substitution technique with Sasuke. Nami had then punched Sasuke in the back of the head and was now staring at him confusingly "What the?" Nami asked.

"Damnit Dobe! He used a substitution" Sasuke said as he held the bump that was appearing on his head.

"What was that, Uchicha!?" Naruto yelled.

"I mean he used a substitution technique to switch places with me, Nami-sama" Sasuke bowed.

"That's Uzumaki-sama to you Sasuke" Naruto continued while Nami laughed and felt a little bad for Sasuke.

"Hai Uzumaki-sama"

"Good, then let's get going brats, we've wasted enough time" Naruto said as he flipped the unconscious Kakashi over his shoulder and started walking.

He then smiled and cheerfully said "Lead the way old man Tazuna"

"Uhh yes" Tazuna said and followed after him.

Team 7 followed after them some time later as they didn't really want to be to close to Naruto when Kakashi was out of it.

"Baka Nami, why is your brother so rude towards Sasuke?" Sakura asked.

"He hates the Uchiha clan, don't ask me why"

Sasuke then asked "So he would have treated me the same way even if that accident didn't happen?"

"Probably" Nami said.

Sasuke sweatdropped "I wonder why he hate's us Uchiha so much"

Nami then got a great idea "Why don't you ask him?"

"Are you crazy? He scares the living hell out of me" Sasuke said.

"Oh right" Nami remembered something "If you want to get on my brothers good side.. try insulting someone named 'Natsu Dragneel' when you are near him, like tell him how much you hate 'Natsu Dragneel' and stuff like that"

"Who is that?" Sakura asked.

"A Pink haired bastard like you" Nami said.

"Screw you Nami-baka!"

* * *

_Later that day_

The group had now arrived at Tazuna's house and when they got there Naruto immediately threw Kakashi to Tazuna and started flirting with Tsumani, Tazuna's daughter.

"Yeah I work out a lot"

"I can see that" Tsunami giggled.

"Want to see something else?"

"Sure?" Tsunami asked and then Naruto dragged her into another room.

That was the last they saw of Naruto and Tsunami for two weeks.

Team 7 was still oblivious to what was going on, the figured Tsunami was busy or didn't like them and avoided them. And they figured Naruto had gone off somewhere and was probably drinking and yelling at people. Kakashi however knew exactly what was happening and he kept wondering how a thirteen year old could land a woman like Tsunami.

Sure Naruto looked as if he could be fifteen or sixteen but still she was a grown woman, Kakashi figured Naruto must be a master womanizer even better than Jiraiya at picking up chicks. This made Kakashi proud of Naruto as he knew that he was his former teacher's son, and now he must get to know him as well and maybe get some tips.

Tazuna had been sitting in a corner all the time they had spent at his home and mumbling about how he was going to kill some blonde bastard. Kakashi had then told Nami to stay away from him as she got a little worried thinking that he was mumbling about her.

Another day passed and there had been a fight on the bridge, Zabuza and his apprentice Haku ended up dead together with Gato and his followers. Nami had been sad as she had made some kind of friendship with Haku during the two weeks they spent here but was otherwise fine, she also came up with her own way of the ninja. Her way of the ninja was Naruto's old way of the ninja, his new way of the ninja is a bit different.

What had Naruto annoyed was that someone had interrupted him and Tsunami today as two weak-ass samurai's had threatened to kill his lover and her kid. They had been easily dealt with though as a small orange fox wearing sunglasses and carrying a guitar had appeared and slammed them hard with the guitar and they ended up flying far away.

Kurama had spent the two weeks coming up with new lyrics for his new songs, he loved it when Naruto was with a lady friend, he was free to do whatever he wanted then.

Now the group was about to leave wave country as their mission and the bridge had been finished when Nami asked Naruto "Why did you even come with us on this mission, you didn't do anything?"

Naruto laughed in a way that only he and Jiraiya could "I got a hell lot more done than you did" This had Kakashi giggling as he read his Icha Icha and walked beside them.

"I am going to give a good word to the Hokage about you Naruto, you have shown yourself to be a fine ninja" Kakashi said and kept giggling.

"Yeah I'm a fucking genius" Naruto said and then starting writing in his notebook.

Back with Tazuna and his family "So what are we going to name the bridge?" Tsunami asked.

"What about the super cool Tazuna bridge?" Tazuna said.

"No.. I know, how about the Great Naruto bridge!?" Inari asked.

Tsunami blushed and nodded "Yeah he sure is great"

Tazuna had a glowering face "No, we will name it the Great Nami bridge"

Inari nodded "Yeah that's al right"

Tsunami then nudged Tazuna "There is something I have to tell you" then she leaned in a whispered "I'm pregnant"

"BRAAAAAAT" Tazuna yelled.

* * *

_Back with Naruto and the others_

"BRAAAAAAT" they all heard and Naruto sneezed "Guess he knows about me and Tsunami now"

Kakashi giggled and the others looked confused and Nami asked "What do you mean you and Tsunami?"

"Mind your own damn business brat" Naruto said while kept writing down in his notebook. Naruto then walked up to Sasuke and glared at him "You know what to do when we get back to konoha right?"

"Yes I will do it for you" Sasuke answered not wanting to anger Naruto.

"Good you have been slacking compared to the others" Naruto said and was about to start writing in his notebook again when Sasuke said "Natsu Dragneel is an ugly bastard"

"That's right" Naruto answered quickly.

"Natsu Dragneel smells bad"

"Definitely" Naruto agreed

"Natsu Dragneel is worse than an Uchiha"

Naruto quickly charged Sasuke and held him by the collar of his shirt "Hey hey brat, don't say such things about Pinky he's not that bad" Naruto glared at him and had a dark aura surrounding him "Do you have anything against Natsu, huh!?"

"No sir!"

"Good I don't want you to talk that way about him again" Naruto said while he threw Sasuke down the ground head first. Then he walked off once again writing down in his notebook when Nami ran up to him.

"Natsu is smelly retard"

"That's right imouto, there is hope for you yet"

"I want to date Natsu Dragneel"

Naruto stopped moving and his eyes twitched "Say that again?"

"I want to date Natsu Dragneel, he's so cool dattebane!"

Naruto then fell down on his back laughing "That's a good one!" then he stood up "Well let me show you your competition" then a shadow clone appeared and they quickly used henge to transform into Mirajane Strauss and Erza Scarlet wearing nothing but a bikini.

After Naruto cancelled the technique Kakashi had fallen back on the ground with blood coming out of his mask. Nami and Sakura were just angry especially Nami because that looked an awfull lot like her **~Sexy no Jutsu~** and **~Harem no Jutsu~**. Sasuke hadn't reacted at all he just kept brooding since something like that didn't interest him.

"That is such a weak technique" Nami yelled then she did her own **~Sexy no Jutsu~** and what she transformed into had Naruto angry out of his mind

"THE HELL NAMI!?" he yelled.

"W- What?" she asked a little scared in her new body, she had transformed into an older woman in her twenties with long red hair and blue eyes wearing nothing…

"THAT IS OUR MOTHER!" He continued to yell and then ran away crying "MY EYES!"

"Fucking brat.. that's not cool"

Then he stopped running and had an evil face on him "Say Nami-chan.. Who else have you shown that technique?"

"Only Ebisu-baka, Iruka-sensei, old man hokage and Konohamaru" Nami answered.

"You are to stop using that technique, if you must continue using it find another woman to transform into.. Now I must go deal with something important" Naruto said and disappeared in a flash of yellow.

Naruto had teleported to Konohamaru's classroom and was now standing on top of his desk "Did you do what I asked you, brat!?" he yelled.

"Naruto what are you doing here!?" Iruka yelled.

"HUH!?" Naruto glared back.

"Yes I have successfully planted the stinkbombs in Kiba's room and given Shikamaru his instructions"

"Good then come with me we are going to remove a part of your memory" He grabbed Konohamaru and flung him over his shoulder "You're next" he said pointing at Iruka then he ran towards Yamanaka Ino's home trying to find her dad Inoichi to help remove a certain memory.

'No fucking closet perverts is going to be dreaming about my mother' He thought on his way there.

* * *

Thanks for reading & Please Review


	11. Chapter 11

Responding to reviews:

**darkking694**: Thanks!

**daniel 29:** Haha yeah. thanks for reviewing

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 11

* * *

It had been a few hectic hours for a certain blond man in Konoha. He had a visitor earlier today that was bringing him all kinds of people to get a certain memory removed. First he brought the hokage's grandson, Konohamaru. The next person he had tied down with a rope and carried him over his shoulder, this was Iruka. He did the same with the next three people he came in with, Kakashi, Sasuke and Ebisu.

He had made a mistake as well as he came in with Sakura in the same way. Inoichi had then asked why he had brought Sakura and Naruto had then apologized and told her he thought she was somebody else.

The last person Naruto brought was the Hokage himself, however he was not tied up and carried. The old man hokage had agreed to get this memory removed just to get Naruto to stop bugging him. He also had come up with something to get back at Naruto for his latest behavior and him corrupting Konohamaru.

While Naruto was busy removing the memory of his naked mother from all of the closet perverts, his sister had been invited for a girls night by Yamanaka Ino. This had surprised Nami as she usually only hung around with the guys. They had spent the evening eating at Ino's place and then they had started gossiping. Hinata and Sakura were also with them and the topic of the conversations started out being all about Sasuke.

Then to Nami's horror Ino had started talking about Naruto and how she thought he was cute. Hinata had been too shy to even speak after the mentioning of Naruto and blushed a deep red and just nodded. What surprised Nami even more was that even Sakura had good things to say about Naruto how he was manlier then Sasuke and his smile made her legs weak. Nami made the decision to call it a night before she had to hear more gossip about her brother and was now on her way back home.

What Nami saw as soon as she got into her apartment was Naruto lying on the sofa with a sake bottle in one hand and an Icha Icha book in his other. Naruto saw Nami entering and then folded the book and stood up "Brat, where have you been?" he asked.

"None of your business"

Naruto shrugged and took another sip of his sake and then said "You don't need to worry I have taken care of the problem you caused"

"Good.." Nami said and started walking towards her room not really caring about what Naruto was telling her.

Then Naruto raised his voice "Nami! Let me show you something" Nami turned around and watched Naruto transform into what looked like herself as an adult wearing nothing.

"This is my ~**Sexy No Jutsu~**" He said and winked "If you mess up again I'll be running like this around the whole village!"

'What a hypocrite' Nami thought angrily and then punched Naruto in the face sending him into the wall yelling "Pervert!" and stomped off into her room.

"I'm no pervert.. " Naruto mumbled then he held two thumbs up "I'm a super pervert!" he yelled and ran off before Nami could hit him again. Naruto was heading towards Anko's apartment for some late night fun.

* * *

_The next morning_

Yesterday after Naruto had convinced Hiruzen to have a part of his memory removed, Hiruzen had told Naruto to meet him at his office the next morning. Naruto was now standing in his office and asked "What do you want?"

Hiruzen sighed "The chuunin exam's is in two weeks from now and I have prepared a temporary team for you"

Naruto nodded "Good, who are they?"

"You'll see" then he rose his voice "Come in!"

In walked a boy around Naruto and Nami's age with black hair and his skin color were extremely pale, almost white. He was wearing tight shorts and a small t-shirt that didn't cover much at all of his upper body. The other boy was someone Naruto didn't much attention too, it was just some random weakass civilian kid.

Hiruzen introduced them "This is Sai and Dracneel, Sai and Dracneel that idiot over there is Naruto"

"Dracneel?" Naruto thought out loud and walked up to him but was interrupted when Sai spoke "Hi"

Naruto looked at Sai and said "Yo"

Sai then fake smiled and said "I'm happy to be working with you and your big dick"

Naruto nodded "Good, but don't get any ideas"

Sai looked confused "Ideas?"

"I don't swing that way"

Hiruzen was coughing to hide his laugh and the poor boy Dracneel was thinking he was going to die for sure when working with those two.

Hiruzen then cleared his throat to get their attention "You'll have a temporary jounin sensei as well"

"Who?" Naruto asked.

"Ebisu" Hiruzen grinned

Naruto sweatdropped "Seriously?"

Hiruzen nodded "Yes, that's all. Expect Ebisu to pick you up for team meetings before the exam starts"

"Whatever" Naruto said and flew out the window "RAMEN" he yelled and jumped the rooftops heading towards Ichiraku Ramen.

_A week later_

Not much had happened during this week, Naruto had been training Konohamaru and Nami in his free time. Konohamaru is improving at a fast pace and is already able to the tree walking exercise. He had taught Nami the **~Kunai kage bunshin~** jutsu as well as the **~Shuriken kage bunshin~.**

Naruto was proud of himself as he had almost got two hundred D rank missions done since he 'graduated' of course he didn't do them himself. Instead he had other genins such as Kiba, Sasuke, Chouji and Shikamaru do them for him. Naruto had just sent Konohamaru and told all of them to do the work for him and to his surprise they had done it without questioning. Maybe there was hope for the konoha genins after all.

Naruto was however a bit disappointed in Shikamaru as he had not been able to get Nami to fall for him. Even after Naruto had sent Konohamaru to give instructions on how he was going to act and what clothes to wear he had made no progress.

Naruto was about to treat his two apprentices to some ramen, but before he stopped them from their exercises he thought on something.

Earlier he had told Shikamaru to meet them at Ichirakus, now finally he was going to get the two together and he would have one less worry in his life. If Nami didn't get together with Shikamaru then who would she start dating later?

Sasuke? Over his dead body.

Chouji? Not very likely.

Shino? Naruto had forgotten about him.

Kiba? Kiba is probably the one that is in fact in love with Nami, but for that very reason he can't date her.

It would have to be Shikamaru, he's lazy and dependable and won't try anything because it would be troublesome. With that thought Naruto grabbed Nami and Konohamaru and flung them over his shoulder and used a **~Shunshin~** to get to Ichirakus.

* * *

Thanks for reading and Please Review.


	12. Chapter 12

Responding to Reviews:

**ChilledKitsune:** Glad you find it enjoyable. I don't know why more people aren't following/reviewing maybe they don't find it funny enough or are bothered by my grammar. Thanks for reviewing.

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 12

* * *

_At Ichiraku ramen_

Naruto, Nami, Konohamaru and Shikamaru was currently seated at Ichiraku's eating ramen. Shikamaru had arrived just after the others and greeted Nami with a bow "Hello Nami-hime" and sat down next to them.

Naruto had then noticed during the time they ate and conversed that Shikamaru wasn't making any progress. As Naruto finished his 21st bowl of ramen as the others finished their first or second he stood up.

"No womanizing skill in that boy" he mumbled as he started walking. The others who were still eating looked at him "Is he just going to leave like that?" Konohamaru asked.

They then heard Naruto laughing "Wahaha, see you in a week losers" as he disappeared from their view.

"Wait the bill!" Nami yelled

* * *

_A week later_

It was now time for the chuunin exams first round to begin. Naruto had been out of the village storing up alcohol in sealing scrolls that were in his pockets. The reason he had to go out of the village was because he had stolen all of the alcohol the way he learned from Ace.

Naruto had told Ebisu his temporary jounin sensei to tell his teammates to meet up with him inside the classroom where the first exam was going to be held. At the moment Naruto is sleeping at one of the desks waiting for the others to arrive as he got there earlier than even the examiners.

Nami and her team had met some interesting people in Gaara, Temari and Kankuro earlier this week. They met some even more interesting people right before they got to the classroom where the first exam was going to be held. They had met Lee, Neiji and Tenten the students of Maito Gai, Kakashi's eternal rival. Lee had challenged Sasuke to a fight for the love of Sakura and Nami and he had creeped them both out.

Nami and her team was met by Kakashi outside of the classroom who eyesmiled at them and then told them they was allowed to enter as all three of them had decided to give the chuunin exams a try.

Just as they were walking inside the door they heard someone yell **"~Rasengan!~"** and a window was destroyed. Nami saw Naruto slamming something that looked like a blue ball shaped mass of chakra into the window and then throwing himself back on at a desk and fell asleep.

Naruto's teammates and the others around him had backed away in fear.

'Not again..' Nami thought as she was about to wake Naruto up when he once again started yelling in sleep "Ra.. Ram.." he started then he slammed his hands on the desk "RAMEN!" he yelled and jumped head first into Nami's stomach. Nami fell backwards and landed on her back with Naruto on top of her.

Naruto then woke up and saw a blushing Nami staring at him "This is getting old, brat" Naruto said as he stood up and walked back to his desk and took out a fresh sake bottle from one of his sealing scrolls.

"This sucks" Naruto whined then he looked around and saw the mass of genins inside the classroom 'Who are these people?' he wondered.

"Ace, Pinky you there?" Naruto yelled.

"There he goes again" Sakura said as she laughed.

Nami had gotten close to Naruto's desk and asked "Why did you headbutt me? That hurt"

"Headbutt you? Speak sense" Naruto was really out of it at the moment.

"You yelled 'Ramen!' and headbutted me in the stomach" Nami growled.

"Right.." Naruto said not believing it at all then he said "Lucy"

"Huh?" Nami said confused.

"Where are that useless pinky and the cat?"

"What are you talking about!?" she yelled back.

"Damnit Lucy, what have I told you about yelling?"

**'Haha this is hillarious! You're so drunk you don't even remember what has happened?'**

'Don't start now..'

Kurama sighed **'Seriously stop drinking for a day at least'**

'I'll stop drinking when I don't have a pink-haired bastard following me around'

**'But you don't anymore..'**

'Go back to singing your lame-ass songs fox'

**'Why do I even bother'**

"Want a drink Lucy?"

Nami shook her head and then decided to get back to her own team, she wasn't going to let Naruto bother her now.

* * *

_Ten minutes later_

The exam had started as Ibiki had told all to get to their assigned seats. Before Ibiki had entered the room Nami and the other rookies had gotten some information from Kabuto about the other genins such as Gaara, Lee and Naruto. The information about Naruto was very vague as it only listed his 250 D rank mission, a single A rank mission and his name.

Ibiki was staring in Naruto's direction from time to time and his eyes twitched as he did so, the reason being Naruto is asleep again. And Naruto isn't a quiet sleeper, no he's mumbling nonsense every other minute.

Another foruty minutes later Ibiki was about to present the option to take the tenth and final question. But before could explain the rules he was interrupted by Naruto who was now standing up and had a huge mass of blue and white chakra in his hand.

**"~Füton: Rasenshüriken~!"** Naruto yelled and threw the mass of chakra through the window and it ended up fifty meters away from the building destroying a big part of the nearby forest. Naruto then fell down on the desk and started snoring again.

"What was that?" Some ninja from another village asked.

Most of the genins was scared for their life as they knew they had to compete with that guy who could use such an powerful jutsu. Ibiki however had enough of Naruto's behaviour and walked up to him and woke him up. Naruto jumped up and charged up a **~Rasengan~** that he pointed towards Ibiki

"The fuck *hic* are you doing?" Naruto asked then he took a closer look "Aren't you *hic* that examiner guy?" then he cancelled the rasengan and sat down.

"Yes I am the examiner are you ready for the tenth question? If you get it wrong you won't have the opportunity to enter the chuunin exams ever again"

Naruto snorted "We'll see about that"

As some teams had left in fear of the rule it was not time for the final question. It turned out that everyone that stayed for the question had passed. After some questioning from the genins and blabbering from Ibiki, Anko flew in through the window and put up a banner that read:

Second Examiner, Foxy-kun's Mitarashi-Anko!

"Alright brats, no time to celebrate! I'm your second examiner!" Anko said

"You're early.. and who is Foxy?" Ibiki asked.

"Why it's him over there of course" Anko said and pointed towards Naruto who was busy emptying another sake bottle.

Naruto had trouble standing up when he tried to do so as he wobbled around "Sup babe" Naruto greeted.

"Kyaaa, he's so cute!" Anko squealed.

Nami on the other hand was really angry "Who is that woman?"

"Ah right I haven't introduced you two" Naruto started then he pointed towards Nami "This is Lucy"

"I'm Nami! Uzumaki Nami!"

Then Naruto pointed towards Anko "That is Anko-chan" he then unsealed another sake bottle "Let's get this shit over with"

"Right, follow me everyone!" Anko said as she led the genins towards the second test's location at the forest of death.

* * *

AN: Thanks for reading & Please Review!


	13. Chapter 13

Responding to Reviews:

**TetrisLame:** I'm sorry I will continue to post short chapters. I will try to post chapters more often.

**ChilledKitsune:** Naruto had been to earthland and was a friend with Lucy there. The reason why Naruto mistakes Nami for Lucy is simply because they're both blonde. It only happens when he's drunk.

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 13

* * *

Naruto was currently having a decently good time as he laid on his back and drank his sake. When the second part of the chuunin exams begun Sai had painted a big flying bird that now had Naruto on it. Sai and Dracneel was walking in front of the bird with Naruto on it, Naruto as usual was mumbling nonsense.

Earlier they had been explained the rules of the second part of the exam. All teams would be given either a earth or heaven scroll. Then you would enter the forest and get the other scroll from another team, you would have to have both earth and heaven scrolls when you arrived at the final destination, the tower in the middle of the forest.

To Sai and Dracneel and whoever else saw Naruto it might look like he wasn't taking it seriously at all, but Naruto had a plan for this exam.

"Sai take us that way" Naruto said and pointed to the left.

"Why?"

"I have a *hic* meeting *hic* with someone there" Naruto explained.

Sai fakesmiled and said "Is it someone that wants to see your big dick?"

Naruto laughed "I really hope not"

"Hey!" Dracneel yelled "Can you two stop fooling around, we need to get the other scroll and what if someone attacks us?"

Sai just fake smiled and continued on while Naruto answered "Don't worry about that, I have a plan"

_One hour later_

Naruto jumped of the bird and sighed "Well this is what we'll do" he said as he created a shadow clone.

"You two and my clone will head towards the tower"

"What about you?" Dracneel asked.

"I'm going to get another scroll and meet up with you there" Naruto explained then ordered "Go" as the clone took both Sai and Dracneel and threw up on his shoulder and jumped up the trees heading towards the tower.

Naruto slowly walked towards his destination singing "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.. Nobody knows my sorrows.."

* * *

_With team 7_

Sasuke was barely hanging on as he was fighting the weird looking kusa-nin. Nami had been knocked out earlier after using some of Kurama's chakra as the kusa-nin had used some kind of seal technique on her.

Just as Orochimaru was about to introduce himself as he held up the scroll to burn it he looked to the right to see someone walk straight into the battle.

"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.." Naruto sang as he looked up "Ah there you are" he said as he jumped up and took the scroll from Orochimaru.

Orochimaru had been surprised by the speed Naruto had shown as he took the scroll, he didn't know any genins was capable of that. Orochimaru also had no clue who this guy was as he had no information on Naruto.

"Who are you?" Orochimaru asked as Naruto continued on while juggling the scroll in his hands.

"Nobody knows.."

"Naruto are you crazy!?" Sakura yelled.

"He's dangerous, get out of here!" Sasuke added.

"Kukuku" Orochimaru laughed "You don't care much for life do you?"

"Nobody knows my sorrows.." Naruto finished his song and then turned to stare at Orochimaru.

"Orochimaru I've been looking for you"

"Kukuku.. I don't think I've introduced myself yet, how did you know?"

Naruto sighed "Doesn't matter, anyway let's get this shit over with" he said as he jumped up and knocked out Sasuke with a punch to the back of his neck. Then he ordered Sakura to "Get your teammates out of here I'll meet up with you later.. maybe"

"Why did you do that to Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

Naruto shrugged "I felt like it" Naruto then created another clone to help Sakura carry her teammates as they left.

Orochimaru hadn't had his chance to put the curse seal on Sasuke yet and he was losing his patience.

"Who are you boy?" Orochimaru asked.

"Why thank you for asking!" Naruto then did a little dance and jumped up the air and yelled **"~Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Kyubi no Yoko!~"** he stood above Kurama's head and continued "I'm the second toad sage hailing from mount myouboku, the man on every woman's mind the Jinchuriki of Kurama, Uzumaki Naruto Yo!"

Orochimaru glared at him "So you're the other Uzumaki brat.. Have you met Jiraiya?"

"Maybe"

"Kukuku I'll have to move on now as I have some business with Sasuke" Orochimaru said as he tried to finish it quickly by using his neck lenghtning technique to try and attack Naruto.

**"~Bijudama~"** Kurama said as he shot the huge mass of chakra at Orochimaru who had to use his body regeneration technique. The technique where he spits himself out and creates a new Orochimaru. (**Orochimaru-Ryū no Kawarimi no Jutsu**)

"You are no normal kid" Orochimaru hissed as he was lying on the ground then snakes started coming from his mouth **"Mandara no Jin" (Ten Thousand Snakes Wave) **

Countless of snakes were now charging Naruto some of them with swords coming out of their fangs.

"Not this shit again" Naruto mumbled then he stomped his foot on Kurama "Another one"

**"Right"**

**~Bijudama!~"** Kurama yelled as he shot another Bijudama towards the snake and the same time Naruto had created ten shadow clones and all of them had thrown a ~Füton: Rasenshuriken~ towards the snakes and Orochimaru.

When the effects of the attacks disappeared Orochimaru was nowhere to be seen as he had retreated due to low chakra.

"Weak-ass snake"

**"I hear that"**

"Well guess we're done here"

**"What now?"** Kurama asked before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

'I guess we head to the tower, we got the scroll'

**'What about Nami and her team?'**

'…?'

**'You told that Sakura girl you would meet up with them'**

'That was only to get them away from Orochimaru, we have their scroll now.. We are done here'

With that Naruto teleported to his shadow clone that was with Sai and Dracneel just outside of the tower. As it turned out they had finished the second exam in eighty minutes, ten minutes earlier than the sand team.

* * *

AN: I might post another chapter later tonight!

Thanks for reading & Please Review.


	14. Chapter 14

Responding to Reviews:

TetrisLame: Here you go! Not to happy with this chapter though.

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 14

* * *

_Five days later.._

The second part of the chuunin exams were over. Team 7 had barely made it in time as they had to get two new scrolls after Naruto had stolen the one they were given at the start. This had Team 7 currently very angry at him, especially Nami.

Naruto had spent the last five days inside this building in the middle of the forest, Anko was in the same building. So it doesn't take a genius to figure out what he had been doing while he was waiting for the second part to end.

In Naruto's mind he did Team 7 a favor, especially Sasuke since he doesn't have a curse mark on him. Orochimaru must have given up after his first attempt since probably all of the higher ups in konoha knows that he's around by now.

After Naruto had listened to Nami's yell off how much she hated him and that she was going to pay him back, Anko and the hokage had explained the rules for the preliminaries.

The first fight was about to be decided and the board read:

Uzumaki Naruto vs Uchiha Sasuke

The confident Sasuke turned to Nami "Sorry dobe I'll have to hurt your brother"

Nami seriously doubted Sasuke would win but she nodded since she wanted Naruto to pay, maybe Sasuke could get lucky.

"Go Sasuke-kun!" Sakura and Ino cheered.

While Sasuke walked down the stairs Naruto looked towards Anko and Yugao, Yugao who was there for protection.

"Aren't you going to cheer for me?" Naruto asked.

Yugao sweatdropped while Anko said "Don't do anything stupid"

"Stupid? Me? Pff" Naruto snorted and jumped down facing Sasuke.

Hayate coughed "Ready?"

Sasuke nodded and Naruto said nothing or made no movement at all.

"Uzumaki, ready?" Hayate tried again.

Naruto turned to Hayate "Ready for what?"

"The fight"

Naruto unsealed a sake bottle and nodded "Right.. Fight.."

Hayate gave up and started the fight "Begin!" he yelled as Sasuke took that moment to charge Naruto.

Naruto dodged a low kick from Sasuke by jumping up the air while he took a sip from his sake. He still hadn't even looked at Sasuke once. Sasuke tried a punch but Naruto put up his other hand and stopped him. Instead of looking at his opponents Naruto was checking out Kurenai, which most of the adult women took notice off.

'Should I ask her out after the fight?' Naruto thought while he dodged another kick.

"Stop running away" Sasuke said and then continued "Are you not man enough to fight me?"

Naruto ignored Sasuke and mumbled something.

"What was that?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto glared at him "I said I'll ask her out after I win this shit"

Sasuke sweatdropped "What..?"

'What do you think fox?'

**'Kill him'**

'I'll get in trouble..'

**'Then humiliate him'**

'I don't want to show off too much, don't need people bothering me about my techniques'

**'Just imagine that he's Natsu"**

'Okay..'

"Pinky" Naruto glared at Sasuke.

"Huh?" Sasuke asked confused.

Naruto created five hundred clones of himself **"~Tajü Kage Bunshin No Jutsu~"**

Then all five hundred of his clones and himself targeted Sasuke with different kinds of Jutsu.

**~Füton: Renkudan!~**

**~Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu~**

**~Katon: Karyü endan~**

**~Füton: Daitoppa~**

The Jutsu's combined causing a huge explosion where Sasuke was and a big fire afterwards. There was no way Sasuke could have survived that without any help.

It turned out Kakashi had saved Sasuke as they were now standing on the balcony with the others.

Naruto looked up towards Sasuke and Kakashi "So I win?"

Hayate nodded "Since Kakashi interfered the winner is Uzumaki Naruto"

As Naruto got up to the balcony Kakashi was glaring at him and stopped him.

"Were you trying to kill my student?" Kakashi asked in an angry tone.

Naruto shrugged "Got a problem with that?"

"We're all konoha nins" Kakashi continued.

"Fuck is your problem?" Naruto said as he continued forward then laid down the ground next to the hokage "I'm gonna sleep for a while, old man"

"Impressive fight Naruto.." Hiruzen said as he couldn't believe how much chakra Naruto possessed, or the amount of Jutsu. He had also heard the report of the others jutsu's he had used in his sleep earlier. The one that was powerful enough to destroy big parts of a forest must be something he thought. Hiruzen then remembered something important as he tried to wake up Naruto

"Hey you can't sleep here it's not safe" Hiruzen yelled.

Naruto opened his eyes "Don't worry about me, nothing can touch me"

Hiruzen sighed "I'm worried for our safety.."

"Speak sense"

"It would be a problem if you started attacking people in your sleep"

"Can't a man sleep?" Naruto asked as he stood up "Can I at least be allowed to get the fuck out of here? There is someone I have to meet"

Hiruzen nodded "See you in a month"

Naruto then said good bye to Anko and Yugao and Nami ran up to him "Where are you going?" Nami asked.

"To meet an old friend, you'll meet him soon as well" Naruto answered.

"Who is he?"

"You'll see"

* * *

_Five minutes later at a Konoha bath house._

Outside of the bath house there is a white haired man sitting down and peaking into the women's bath. He was then joined by a blonde teenager sitting next to him.

"Ohoho look at those" Jiraiya said

"She sure has a pair on her" Naruto replied.

Jiraiya then took notice of Naruto and asked "Who are you, brat?"

Naruto then stood up "Well thank you for asking!" did a little dance and firecrackers exploded. Naruto had a clone transform into a toad that he stood on.

"I'm the second toad sage, hailing from mount myoboku the greatest womanizer in fire country, Uzumaki Naruto, Yo!"

* * *

AN: Thanks for reading & Please Review


	15. Chapter 15

Responding to reviews:

**Lightningblade49:** Glad to see you're enjoying this story as well! Thanks for reviewing.

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

**"Biju/Summons Talking"**

**'Biju/Summons Thinking'**

**"~Jutsu~" Ex: "~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 15

* * *

One hour later

Naruto and Jiraiya had become best pals, Jiraiya had asked Naruto's story and he had explained everything. Jiraiya of course did not believe him at first but when Naruto had signed the toad contract in exchange for Naruto's notebook and then entered **~Sage Mode~** Jiraiya had to believe him.  
Naruto had also convinced Jiraiya to train Nami and let her sign the toad contract. That way Naruto would have the month before the third exams for himself. It was now evening and Naruto had just gotten back home after having some drinks and sharing stories with Jiraiya.

Just as Naruto walked inside the door he was hit by Nami as she jumped and kicked him in the face causing him to fly outside. Naruto got up and held his nose that had started bleeding and asked "What was that for?"

Nami grinned "Payback for the scrolls, onii-chan"

"Oh" Naruto shrugged and got inside once again and jumped to the couch and took out a sake bottle and drank from it. After taking a sip he asked "So how did your match go?"

Nami had a huge smile "I won of course! It was really onsided too, Kiba had no chance at all" she yelled and threw up her right arm then continued "I will not lose to anyone untill I become hokage, dattebane!"

"I see" Naruto said while his eyes twitched 'Did I really act like that when I was younger..'

Nami had sat down on the couch herself beisde Naruto, way to close in Naruto's opinion.

"I'm fighting Hyuuga Neiji in the third exams, I am going to beat him to a pulp ttebane!" Nami said then she scowled "He went to far on Hinata-chan.."

"Oh? Real interesting.." Naruto answered and chugged the rest of his sake then he sighed "Get to bed brat. I assume you have training to do starting tomorrow"

Nami shook her head "Kakashi-sensei are going to train Sakura-teme since she'll be fighting the crazy sand kid.."

"Gaara?" Naruto asked then his jaw dropped "WHAT!?"

Nami nodded "Yes him, he is really strong he beat big eyebrows in an unbelieveable battle.."

Naruto snorted "Trust me you don't know the meaning of unbelieveable"

"Huh?"

"Never mind, so that leaves us with two options, either you go find yourself a teacher or I will have to train you"

Nami hugged Naruto "I will train with you Onii-chan!"

Naruto's eyes twitched as usual when Nami did this 'Yes.. I have to learn "Edo Tensei" and revive our parents, she needs guidance'

Then he shivered as he imagined his red headed demon mother chasing him around after finding out everything he had done, he wasn't exactly the best behaving kid himself.

Naruto then grabbed Nami by grabbing her shirt from the back and lifting her that way "Let me down!"

Nami yelled and tried to punch him to get him to drop her. Naruto however just threw her on her bed and said "Go to sleep, tomorrow we start your training and trust me you will need your sleep. Also there is another teacher I have found for you, we will meet him tomorrow" then walked outside and jumped up on the couch on again intending to sleep there for once.

'I'm a fucking badass' Naruto thought just before he fell asleep.

_Next morning_

Naruto woke up to Nami staring at him, she was really close as well.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Naruto asked and Nami jumped away.

Nami blushed a little and mumbled "I am still getting used to having a brother.."

Naruto sighed "Get ready and meet me at the bath houses in thirty minutes" after he said that he disappeared using a shunshin.

"Why the bath houses!?" Nami yelled as she went to the kitchen to eat some breakfast.

Naruto had appeared next to a strip club and just as he got there a hung over Jiraiya walked out of it

"You are up early brat" Jiraiya said when he saw Naruto.

Naruto nodded "Just making sure you live up to your end of the deal"

"I will train the brat as promised now leave me alone" Jiraiya whined.

"You better or I will take my notes back" Naruto threatened and then he left towards the Hokage office.

He had received a message from an ANBU that Hiruzen was looking for him. He entered and greeted Hiruzen "What did you want old man?"

Hiruzen yawned "Oh good, you are here.. We have received some information about Orochimaru and his plans to invade konoha"

Naruto raised an eyebrow "Okay, why are you telling me this?"

Hiruzen sighed "Well for one you did go head to head in a battle with him during the exams so you will play an important role during the invasion. But the main reason is the informant mentioned you in multiple instances"

"You don't know the informant?"

Hiruzen shook his head "No, but listen to this.." he said as he took up a letter and started reading "I only have one condition to giving you more information in the coming month and that is that I am allowed to meet Uzumaki Naruto once this is over"

"Uh, what the? There should not be anyone knowing about me since I have supposedly lived in Iwa all my life.. Right?" Naruto asked.

Hiruzen nodded "But that is not everything mentioned about you there is also a question at the end of the letter which is the following; Is Naruto wearing an orange jumpsuit and jumping around yelling dattebayo or is he an asshole with a drinking problem?"

Naruto laughed at that as he thought 'Who the fuck is this person'

Hiruzen cleared his throat and said "The person pretty much described both you and Nami, that makes me wonder who it is, do you have any idea?"

'Kabuto? No way..' Naruto thought before shooking his head "I do not have a clue – it is however a bit scary that someone knows that much about me and my sister, I will have to investigate this"

"I thought the same thing and that was what I wanted you to do. For the next month – considering that you are already strong enough to win the exams without much trouble – I will give you a mission to find out who this informant is and if the person is a threat, It will be a B rank mission"

Naruto nodded "Hai hai old man-sama"

Hiruzen snorted "Just get out of my sight kid"

Naruto jumped out of the window yelling "Do not call me kid old man, I will fuck you up one day"

* * *

AN: Sorry for not updating sooner. I have been busy with school work and I am going to be as busy pretty much for two months. I will try to post a chapter every once in a while.

Thanks for reading and please review


	16. Chapter 16

Responding to Reviews:

Lightningblade49: Naruto is going to be drunk for the bigger part of the month :).

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

"**Biju/Summons Talking"**

'**Biju/Summons Thinking'**

"**~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"****~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 16

* * *

_One week after Naruto left Nami to train with Jiraiya_

Naruto had just woken up in a bed in some kind of hotel or inn, he was not alone in the bed as he had two women currently sleeping next to him with their heads resting on his chest. As Naruto turned to his right and then to his left to get a good look at the women his jaw dropped.

'No no no, this can't be happening' Naruto thought as he quickly substituted with a pillow that had fallen down on the floor. Naruto then quickly grabbed his clothes and got out of there.

Naruto was now heading at max speed back to konoha and he was thinking back on the week that had passed. As soon as he left the village gates he had started drinking beer out of a barrel, he had packed tons of barrels and sake bottles within his sealing scrolls. A few hours after getting out of Konoha intending to go on an information gathering mission that he received from Hiruzen – Naruto had been drunk after drinking five barrels at a fast pace.

What little he remembers of the week is that every single morning he woke up with a different woman at a different bed in a different town or village. This morning however is the first time he actually knows the women he had woken up next to, well at least that's what he remembers. In reality all the women Naruto had been with this week was women he had met in his earlier life, he was just to drunk to notice.

The women he had woken up next to this morning however was not just aquintances, no they were really close to him in his earlier life, one you could say was his former mother figure and the other his sister figure.

'I am a motherfucking grandmotherfucker.. That is not bad ass at all' Naruto thought as he sped up while jumping from tree to tree.

Naruto then remembered something from last night, he had used a henge to make himself look like his older self, his 19 year old self. 'Safe' Naruto thought

'They probably will not recognize me if they decide to return to Konoha any time soon' Naruto then laughed loudly making birds and other critters nearby look at him oddly.

Naruto grabbed his sealing scroll and unsealed a new barrel of beer 'Maybe I should lay of the alcohol for a while' he thought as he stared at the barrel in his hand the he shrugged and started chugging.

**'So what now, are you done screwing around?'** Kurama asked, sure he had enjoyed this week as he had more time than normally to compose new songs, but Kurama was not one to fool around for to long.

Naruto nodded 'I think I am done screwing women for a while at least'

Kurama laughed and then asked **'Why are you heading towards Konoha, we should complete the mission before heading back, right?'**

'Mission?' Naruto questioned with a look of confusion 'Speak sense, fox'

'**The old flesh bag gave you a mission to gather information on the informant sending letters'**

'Hmm' Naruto held his hand to his chin and thought hard 'I do not remember ever agreeing to a mission like that'

**'Yes you did'** Kurama said quickly

'When?'

**'Inside his fucking office one week ago before you left on this idiotic mission!'** Kurama yelled having enough of his stupidity.

'Right..' Naruto said as he continued towards Konoha, he did not believe this at all, why would he go on a raggedy ass information gathering mission?

**'Turn around and get the mission done or I will sing every new song I came up with during this week'**

Naruto shivered 'Fine' he said as he turned and headed back the way he came from 'But where should we be looking anyway?'

**'I would think somewhere near sound village would be a good start?'** Kurama questioned with a bit of sarcasm.

Naruto nodded 'Good thinking' and was about to head towards the direction of sound village, when a women with blue hair wearing a black cloak with red markings on it jumped down and stood across from him.

"Uzumaki Naruto, I found you at last" The woman said.

"Akatsuki" Naruto growled then he took a closer look "Konan?"

"Yes, you will not get away from me this time"

'This time?' Naruto wondered "Sorry I do not intend to let Akatsuki capture me or anyone else for that matter"

"Akatsuki? Capture?" Konan questioned, she then unzipped her robe letting it fall to the ground allowing Naruto to see her fully naked. "We are going to continue what we started" she said as she walked up to him swaying her hips.

Naruto had blood leaking from his nose and then he remembered something 'On the third night I did wake up to someone with blue hair.. did I fuck konan as well?'

Kurama laughed like a mad man (or mad fox) **'She's not the only one you fucked this week that you should recognize'**

'What the fuck does that mean?' Naruto questioned then he pulled Konan into a kiss 'Anyway you will have to explain yourself later.. Do not bother me for a while'

**'Yeah yeah'**

* * *

_The next day_

Naruto and Konan had parted ways after Naruto had promised to visit her every once in a while. Konan had also agreed to give Naruto information on Akatsuki, he did not really need the information but he thought it would be safe in case they do something crazy in this messed up world.

Once again, Naruto was heading towards the Sound village.

'So what did you mean when you said she was not the only woman I should have recognized yesterday?' Naruto asked Kurama.

**'Oh did I say that? My mistake'** Kurama said then he laughed and thought **'Kukuku I can not wait untill you find out'**

'Always messing with me, fucking fox'

**'Hey!'**

'Got something to say?'

**'Show me some respect human!'**

'Not going to happen'

**'You fucked a red head'**

Naruto lost his balance and fell down to the ground head first. 'You.. You are joking right?'

**'No'**

Naruto prayed to the gods 'Please be Tayuya, please be Tayuya'

**'No'**

'Then who!?' Naruto yelled.

**'Not saying..'** Kurama said in a teasing tone.

'Come on!' Naruto whined.

**'Well let's just say that fucking your grandmother or mother figure should be the least of your worries'** Kurama finally said and then laughed like a mad man inside the cage as he rolled around and slammed his paw on the ground and kept laughing for another hour.

'What the hell does that mean?' Naruto wondered.

* * *

AN: So who do you think the red head is? I haven't actually decided who it is yet, but I can think of three women who would get this reaction out of Kurama and Naruto.

Thanks for reading & Please review.


	17. Chapter 17

Responding to Reviews:

**Tsuinrasengan/Voidprince**: Wrong!

**Lightningblade49:** The red head wasn't Mei, but you weren't wrong about him getting his ass burnt.

* * *

"Talking"

"Thinking"

"**Biju/Summons Talking"**

'**Biju/Summons Thinking'**

"**~Jutsu~"** Ex: **"~Kage bunshin no Jutsu!~"**

Chapter 17

* * *

Almost three weeks had passed since Naruto woke up next to Tsunade and Shizune. He had planned on going to the Sound village to find out who the informant was but as soon as he started drinking again he found other interesting things to do instead. Currently Naruto is asleep and being carried by someone.

Naruto is dreaming of his encounter with the red headed woman he had banged. The woman had long red hair and red eyes with slitted pupils and some of the finest D cup breasts he had ever seen, she also had whisker marks on her face as he did.

Naruto woke up and yelled "WHAAT I FUCKED YOU MAN?" causing Kurama to laugh and bang his paw on the floor inside his cage.

The person carrying Naruto jumped when Naruto woke up and yelled. When he landed he said "I believe you haven't.. Naruto-sama"

Naruto who was still thrown over the persons shoulder only saw the back of the person that showed of some skin, very pale skin.

"What are you doing Sai?"

"I'm bringing you back on Hokage-sama's orders, the matches are today"

"Huh, what matches? Speak sense!"

"The third part of the chuunin exams.." Sai explained "Please don't be angry with me Naruto-sama.. I know I interrupted your fun" Sai said as he remembered the state he found Naruto in.

Naruto ignored Sai as he had no clue what he was talking about and instead he was scratching his ass 'Feels like someone has burned my ass'

**'Yeah well that's exactly what happened'** Kurama said and continued to laugh.

'Not only have you raped me, you have also burned my ass?' Naruto yelled back.

**'Idiot.. let me explain what happened'** Kurama said but was interrupted by Naruto yelling "No I don't want to hear it!" out loud causing Sai to jump again.

"Please don't scare me like that Naruto-sama.."

"Shut your mouth and keep walking"

Sai started sweating a little "Hai.."

'**So listen Naruto.. turns out I am a woman in this universe.. and when I'm drunk as I was that night, the other me, the one sealed within Nami.. She took control over my body as I had fallen asleep'** Kurama explained.

'Hmm.. I'll find out about this, remember I know how to communicate with Bijü's sealed within other Jinchüriki..'

**'Go ahead.. I also want to speak with my counterpart, her memories were disturbing'**

'What memories?'

**'Well most of her memories are about two blond brats fucking like rabbits..'**

'Hm so? She's a pervert just like yourself, nothing new'

Kurama growled and then picked up a guitarr '**I dedicate this song to you my friend..'**

**~You don't always have to fuck her hard~** Kurama began singing and that's when Naruto blocked him out of his mind.

Naruto was currently really mad, he's rarely this angry. With grithed teeth he asked Sai "Who am I fighting?"

Sai still sweating as he is really uncomfortable carrying an angry Naruto over his shoulder "Some sand ninja named Roger"

"Roger?" Naruto asked and laughed "Wahaha"

Naruto then sighed "Well you can put me down now.."

"As you wish" Sai said and then dropped Naruto causing him to fall head first on the ground.

Naruto stayed on the ground for a minute and unsealed another sake bottle 'Only two left.. Guess I have to raid another bar soon' he thought as he emptied the bottle with one chug.

He then stood up and kept scratching his butt "Seriously what the fuck happened to my butt!?"

Sai grinned "I think I can explain that, you see when I found you, you were being chased by a woman that spat some kind of fire technique towards you and you were hit several times on your butt"

Naruto raised an eyebrow "A woman? Are you sure?"

Sai nodded and Naruto continued "Are you sure it wasn't a pink haired excuse of man spitting fire on my ass?"

Sai shook his head no.

"Well since this isn't my first time having my ass burned I know how to deal with it"

'Heal me up partner'

**~But then.. I'm gonna fuuuck you haaard!~**

'Give it a break.. Sing something new for once' Naruto spoke to Kurama as his ass started glowing yellow.

Sai saw the yellow and asked "What's that?"

"**~Ninpo: Ass healing no Jutsu~**"

Sai smiled "Seems like a good Jutsu, Naruto-sama, will you teach it to me?"

Naruto looked oddly towards Sai 'Why would he need an ass healing technique?' and then answered "I can't"

Five minutes later and they finally saw the Konoha village. Naruto asked Sai "So where did you find me? And how long have you been carrying me?"

"I found you near the hidden mist village.. and I have carried you for twenty four hours non stop"

Naruto laughed "You're really stupid you know that right?"

Sai looked confused and asked "Why?"

"If you had woken me up we would get back here within minutes.."

"I see, I did not know that Naruto-sama, however I did try to wake you up and each time I did you slapped me and went back to sleep"

"Yeah yeah just saying.."

"We should head towards the arena immediately, the matches has probably started already" Sai said.

Naruto snorted "I'll get there when I get there, go ahead brat"

Sai jumped off heading towards the gates.

Naruto however was taking his time 'So what the fuck happened this month?'

**'If we skip the first week, where you just fucked around.. well you didn't do much at all'** Kurama said as he had stopped singing.

'I am smart enough to figure out I have been drinking non stop these three weeks and that I have failed my mission.. but still.. I must have done something?'

**'Not really..'**

The truth was Naruto had been doing alot the last three weeks. Naruto had been a big part of the civil war in the hidden mist as he had helped Mei and the bloodline supporters win the war against the Sharingan mindcontrolled Yagura and the rest of the mist village. With this information it shouldn't be that hard to figure out who the woman that was spitting fire on Naruto's ass was.

* * *

Flashback

After the final battle of the war Naruto and Mei was sharing a bed, which they did every single night since Naruto had arrived. As Mei was on her knees fully naked and giving Naruto a blow job, Naruto said "*hick* That feels great.. how about *hick* after you finish that you go make me some ramen *hick* like a good weak-ass woman?"

Ten seconds later Naruto was running for his life with his bare arse from the woman that was shooting fire and lava techniques after him

End flashback

* * *

Naruto had also visited Tsunami for some "fun" and he was told by her that she was pregnant with his child, which he of course doesn't remember.

Naruto took his last bottle of sake and opened it and since he had been drunk pretty much the whole month it didn't take long before he started getting drunk again.

"Let's *hick* put on *hick* a show, shall we?" Naruto said as he jumped off heading towards the chuunin exams arena.

* * *

So now Naruto has been with: Anko, Yugao, Tsunami, Konan, Female-Kyuubi, Mei, Tsunade, Shizune. Have any wishes for his next woman?

Thanks for reading & Please review


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